Some time ago, I decided to abstain... I wanted to truly be free. To not be bound  by feelings or responsibilities to someone else. I desired clarity of thought, and understanding of life, and, at the time, I couldn't find any of those things while attached to someone else.  I decided that until I was ready to actually love a man and commit to him in friendship and love, I would abstain... From love. Quite honestly, I've always had available men around who would make great mates. But their availability had no impact on my movement in love's direction.  I was not ready, and just having a man, even a good one, wasn't worth it. I was not available. Nor did I want to do the work necessary to maintain a healthy relationship.  No, I wasn't on some exploration of "self-love," I've always loved myself...some might say a little too much. Ha! Yes, I dated during this time. But sometimes I didn't. I was okay in both circu

For many years, my pop was a man of few words. I didn't know much about him beyond what someone else said...or what I observed. We never talked much early on. I just saw him as a disciplinarian, basketball enthusiast, hard worker and a bit of a stranger. We didn't live together until I entered my second semester of kindergarten. (Want the back story? Read it in the book .) Our conversations used to be limited to sports, church and what I should/should not be doing.  Nowadays, the head bumping we experienced in my youth has dissapated. We still disagree about a few things, but we sit and talk about them with mutual respect and no yelling LOL.  One day, not too long ago, we had a conversation that blew my mind. After years of believing that he just didn't get me, and telling myself that explained why we didn't talk much, I realized the dude was very observant.  In the midst of levying one of my complaints, Pop cut me off and explained for me wh

Been gone for a minute...now I'm back...with the jump-off...😂😂😂 Anyway... Done with the corniness. Something very odd happened to me on my way into my 30s. Leaving my 20s, I was what I had set out to become with my vision at the age of 6...a lawyer.  I wasn't exactly the kind of lawyer I thought I would be. I mean, my desire was to become the female version of Thurgood Marshall, fighting for the civil rights and equality of people.  In law school, I sat at the learning table of a civil rights legend, whose stories of how he made it over, never losing a Supreme Court case, kept the fire for justice burning within me... After one federal discrimination case, I realized I would more than likely starve to death before making tremendous changes...I like to accomplish goals quickly, and civil rights is a slow moving beast...though the sacrifice is definitely worth it.  So, I decided that another way to help people was through family law, and for sever