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Showing posts from December, 2010

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Dear UCONN Huskies and STANFORD Cardinals...THANK YOU!


 I cried when UCONN hit the 89 games in a row win mark and broke UCLA's NCAA record.  As my post "Sports Addiction", revealed, I stopped playing basketball when I blew first one, then my other knee out.  But you know, it was much more than that, that made quitting easy.  Although the streak ended at 90 with the Lady Cardinals taking them to the hoop, it is great!

I was so proud of the Lady Huskies because finally there was proof that girls can do anything!  Wooohoooo!!! And that's for all those who have chauvinistic opinions!  Physical limitations will never stop you.  It is those psychological/emotional limitations that keep you from doing whatever you want!

It's time to have THE TALK.

EVERYTHING YOUR PARENTS DID NOT TELL YOU ABOUT CHOOSING A MATE!  THE TALK... whew.  That's the one moment in time when parents are the closest to having a nervous breakdown.
What to say?  What not to say...Kids are getting older now.  The opposite sex is about to start sniffing around.  So mom or dad or both, work up the nerve to tell kids where babies come from.  And to use protection or abstain.

The birth, the life, the death of the Independent Woman.


THE BIRTH
So, you're an independent woman... how did that come about? For many of us, it came from generations before us encouraging our "independence" or self-sufficiency.  Most defined it as the ability to do what you want free from the ties and perceived limitations they had in their own lives. More often than not, it came from grandmothers, aunts, and mothers who were wives and mothers themselves (and our fathers as well...)(you'll soon see the irony)

Get an education and you can pave your own way.  Don't marry too soon, you'll be weighed down by the responsibilities of children.  Rely on yourself, and you'll never be disappointed.  Think for yourself, honey, don't let a man control you.  You have to know how to do things on your own. You can do bad all by yourself.

You can't squeeze him into a relationship.

First I want to shoutout @gripebrothers for inspiring the title of this post.


"Most women decide on the type of relationship they want and then try and squeeze a man into [it]. Cart before the horse."- The Gripe Brothers


Now ladies, I know you're going to get mad at me for this post.  But I'm telling you it is for your own good.  Let me ask you something, why do you have such a huge problem with dating more than one man at a time? And most importantly, why do you try to make every man you date, THE ONE? 

It makes absolutely no sense to me.  One of my classmates agrees with me, and offered a little insight as to why many of our sisters refuse to date more than one guy:
Don't know why women won't. [I've] seen so many wait around for happiness. I think many believe dating around = sleeping around. Sad
--L.B.

Teena Marie dies in her sleep at 54.

How sad is it that you learn of your friend's passing on Twitter?  That's what happened to comedienne, Kim Whitley today.  Twitter is great for networking and having fun, but it is a horrible place to learn something so tragic.

News began buzzing about an hour ago that the R&B legend had passed away.  But anyone who frequents Twitter knows that tweeters have announced the untimely death of several stars falsely.  Just this year tweeters have killed off Bobby Brown, Danny Glover, Matt Damon, Johnny Depp and Bill Cosby.

So when the trending topic became Teena Marie, everyone assumed it was another Twitter hoax. But it was not.  Teena Marie's manager confirmed that the petite legend passed away today and that her daughter had the devastating misfortune of finding her body. 

Even crazier is that news sources like TMZ and Huffington post get their news stories from Twitter just like you and I do.  I guess this is a new age for journalism? I don't know.

Anyway... Ms T…

For all you shop-a-holics: AFTER CHRISTMAS SALES!!

Let's be real.  Sometimes a gal just wants to let her hair down...pick her fro out...curl her tresses...and shop...shop....shop! 

You know, indulge in a little retail therapy.  The day to day grind.  The languishing over relationship drama.   The gossipy chatter.  It can all just be too much.

So let's get down to it.  Sometimes all we want is a little relaxation.  Some alone time with just you, your debit card (or cash) and the sales clerk at Nordstrom, Macy's, Ross, or the M.A.C. counter.  (You can also get your M.A.C. fix at http://www.maccosmetics.com/.)



Be it boots from Aldo or Zappos, you will find luscious footwear for half their retail price for the next few weeks as retailers make room for new inventory.  And any shop-a-holic worth her weight in price tags knows the thrill that comes with a good sale!!  A lady on Twitter suggested http://www.6pm.com/ for more great shoe deals! 






If you caught the sale at NY and Company earlier today, you would have been …

The Five Love Languages Test

By today, I have heard about this "Love Languages" thing from three different people.  My physical therapist, Jennifer, one of my followers on Twitter, and one of the guys from "What he said: A conversation with my guy friend," William Wilson. 

So today I went to this link http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/, and took the test.
Mine was Quality Time (overall), but it tied with Acts of Service.

Try it out and post your love language here in the comments.  Do you think the test is accurate?

Words and phrases you should retire with the end of 2010.

I was listening to this local radio show, and they spoke of a list of words that should die with 2010.  So I decided to come up with 10 words or phrases that should kick the bucket when the clock strikes Midnight on New Year's Eve.

  TEN WORDS AND PHRASES THAT SHOULD DIE WITH 2010 "That's what's up"- Gloria ran this phrase into the ground on VH1's Basketball Wives last season."Thirsty".  It annoys me to no end to read this word.  It is just stupid."Hater/Hating/Hatin'/Hate"- No one is "hatin" on you. You just suck. Or they just don't like you. Get over it."Bootycall"-  The movie came out over ten years ago, right? I mean...just cut it out and be more responsible while you're at it. I'm tired of seeing bootycall babies... AKA babies born from one night stands. STOP IT!!!"Da Bomb/DaBomb.com/anything.COM" - Something about it is just plain geeky and disturbing."Barbie"- That heiffa is f…

Lunch with Michael Thompson of the NBA Bobcats.

Yesterday, I had lunch with the Director of Corporate Communications for the Charlotte Bobcats, Michael Thompson.  After giving me a tour of Time Warner Cable Arena, we sat down at Black Fin for lunch. He was kind enough to take some time out of a very busy day to speak to me, a stranger, about his journey into the public relations field.

#10 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend.

Today's Guy: Brent D. Clair, married to Nicole for two years.

How long I've known him:  Over ten years.

Today's topic:  Celibacy in committed relationships

In 2008, I went to Chicago for Brent and Nicole's wedding. The story of their relationship is one that I found so inspiring.  When I first met Brent he was something like a party boy, with a spiritual side.  We used to joke...well I used to joke him about the "interesting" women he dated.  When he spoke of Nicole I always felt like she was THE ONE...mainly because she wasn't like the other ones, plus she had a strong personality and spiritual thing going on.  Brent and Nicole dated for 4 and a half years, and did not consummate their relationship until they married.

Me:  I've had conversations with people about celibacy.  I did a relationship panel, and this young lady was concerned that guys would not wait to sleep with her.  So my point was, if a guy is really interested in you, for you, he'll w…

"She's my best friend"

That's what one gentleman I know said about his wife. They spend a lot of time together.  Enjoying the same things and sharing new things together.  I've heard this sentiment repeatedly from guys who were truly dedicated to their wives.





On the flip, there are some guys I know who didn't think it was necessary to have a friendship with their wives. They usually are the ones I hear complaining. The crazy thing about them is, they feel that they can compartmentalize their lives.
When you marry there are no compartments. It is when everything is bound, bundled, and built into one unit. That's what marriage is about, right?

When you can't be friends...

Today I started thinking about heartbreak.  My worst heartbreak was several years ago and it took me a long time to get over it.  One of my homeboys was like, "Suck it up!!!" (you know who you are...).  But when he realized it was the love of my life, he was a lot more understsanding (At the time it seemed like he was the love of my life and all...I mean that's the way it seemed...I now realize I haven't met him yet. If I had...we'd still be together LOL) .

Men are dogs and pigs, and they all cheat!

Some of you ladies read that title and thought "Uh huh!!" "Say that!!"  "Preach!!"  And you probably added your own derogatory terms to describe the male species....didn't you? You my dear, are the very reason why I'm writing my first book.  It always churns my stomach every time I hear grown women speak of men in this way.

After all, some of my best, closest and dearest friends happen to be men.  And I refuse to allow anyone to talk ish around me about them.  So why would I chime in with people tossing them into debase categories based on their own poor choices and bad experiences?

Imagine my dismay when I heard those entitled words uttered by some preteens and teens. Yep!  Little girls, barely into training bras already having negative opinions of men.  Hmmmm....I wonder where THOSE notions came from... (yeah...I'm looking right at you, who agreed with that statement in the title...)

So fine...You had it rough with some dude, who took you…

#9 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend.

Today's Guy:  MW, age 27 college administrator

How long I've known him: About six months

Today's Topic:  Dating a woman who has her own.
So this topic comes up a lot. One day M. W. vented to me about the pressure men sometimes feel from successful career women, who may have more money than the guy.  I didn't really get to cross examine him for this interview though.


Me: You know these days a lot women are shall we say "independent". Basically like that Neyo song, "She's got her own". What is it like dating a woman like that?


M.W.: I actually like dating a woman that's independent. I believe an adult should be independent. For me it is a normal way of life. I've never been with a woman who depended on a man for everything. I honestly don’t think I would like it.

When did you fall in love with Hip Hop?

I grew up in a very religious home. I was not allowed to listen to secular music or watch channels like MTV or BET.  However, I also grew up around a lot of people who were deep into "secular" (read: "hood") lifestyles.  So I received a taste of the "secular" world through my surroundings.

Five things men have forgotten how to do

Sure this blog is geared toward giving men an opportunity to voice their opinions, and for women to learn a few things.

HOWEVER...as I do have guy friends that I genuinely love, I often offer them some advice as well...

And sometimes ladies just need to get some things off our chests too. So that's what this particular post is about.

Basically...some guys are slacking.  I mean seriously under performing when it comes to dating, love and relationships...I mean, not MY homeboys...they all stay on point...After all they have me in their corner to tell them to straighten up! :)

Some of you fellas need to find a good PLATONIC female friend to chin check your arse from time to time! Because you stay on some other stuff... So if you don't have one...I'll take one for the team and do it for ya!

Read below for 5 Things Men have forgotten how to do

#8 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend

Today's guy:  Larry M.  aka No Limit Larry aka No Leezy
How long I've known him:  About a year? I think I don't know. (If you count when he first came to the radio show, I've known of him since I was in high school.)
What he does: He's the host of Power 98 fm'sNo Limit Larry and the Morning Maddhouse, and appeared as a coach on Mtv's MADE.
Today's topic:  Breaking the cycle of fatherlessness

A little while ago I went to the morning show to do Battle of the Sexes.  The topic was about dating single parents. During the show Larry went in on me and Yasmine (his co-host) about not having any children. So he went on and on and on and on...about how great it is to be a daddy. So with the bad rap that a lot of fathers get (some deserved, some not so), I wanted to give a dad's perspective on parenthood. 

The interview actually started with Big Les chiming in with: "The only way that women know how to deal with men, is THROUGH THEIR FATHERS!!!" Larry…

There's no such thing as a "good" or "bad" person.

I know, what about the murderers and rapists and pedophiles and all the like, right? And on the flip-side what about the Mother Teresa's of the world?  How could there not be "bad" or "good" people?

I am a believer in God and a spiritual person.  It is my belief that God creates us all for a purpose.  Some chose to step completely outside of that purpose and others continue in it.  As you meet people, you may see them doing good or doing bad. 

What makes an unhappy relationship?

Ok, so a couple of weeks ago I was on Power 98 fm's No Limit Larry and the Morning Maddhouse Battle of the Sexes segment, discussing this topic.  Many people calling in said bad bedroom habits make a relationship unhappy.  Meaning if the loving ain't good, the relationship ain't either.

So is that it? That's all it takes for happiness in a relationship? So as long as the loving is good, everything is fine by you? I mean, for some people that is true.  How many times do you find people taking any type of treatment from their partner as long as they are being satiated sexually? Does that mean they are happy? 

They will walk around looking a Thriller Zombie mess and depressed all day long any other day, but because they are pleased in the bedroom they will say they are happy?  This is actually an appropriate topic for today, because today is World AIDS Day.

If honesty, trust, devotion, and faith are not part of your relationship, then how can it be happy?  If all you'…