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Showing posts from February, 2011

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YBBG Topic: Metrosexual is not manly

So last night I made the statement: Metrosexual is not manly.  I continued on to say that I'm not attracted to men who are beholden to the metrosexual style.  And that to me metrosexual is not the equivalent of well groomed...

I said this in the public domain, Twitter, knowing full well that it would offend some people.  I already knew that people would somehow correlate the statement to sexuality.  I already knew people would assume that means I like rough, gruff, thuggish men...I already knew this because I pay attention to people.  And those are the general routes people take when this particular topic is broached.

#18 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend.




Today's guy:  C.G.

How long I've known him: 10 years

Today's Topic:  How much about yourself/past should you reveal to a potential mate?

So I send out topic of the day via text, twitter and facebook.  Last week there was a topic on how much of yourself you should share with someone who is a potential mate.  There were a myriad of answers, but one stuck out.  That's what led to today's conversation.

Me:  Remember the other week when we spoke about what you should or shouldn't tell someone you're dating? So you said there are somethings best left behind?

C.G.: Left alone?

Me:  Yeah.

C.G.: Or I guess you could say there are somethings best left in the past, I guess you could say that.

Me:  So how do you decide what you should tell and what you shouldn't?

C.G.:  I feel like it is subjective.  I really feel like the key thing is relevance.  When it comes to history, relevance.  By relevance I mean, is it something that could potentially be significant to your pres…

Why are YOU married?

I just got the memo that being single is a disease.  I didn't quite know it was a disease.  But apparently it is an epidemic.  I mean it must be a disease, right?  Because everyone is trying to find a cure for it. 

BET's The Game: Episode 7 errr 8 RECAP

Note on the RECAPS... Apparently the season premiere was deemed two episodes in one, by the powers that be.  Therefore the numbering for these recaps is off. YBBG will pick back up with episode 9 next week.


"You say goodbye.  I say hello!"
Kelly, Jason, Britt    Kelly is filming her reality show, and Jason comes in with Brittney (wait this doesn't look like the same grown little girl from the premiere..but you know how they do on tv. Change aunt viv, change the daughter on my wife and kids...judy goes upstairs on Family Matters and never returns..ya know).  Kelly's whining about the things Jason used to say to her, and he tosses in "Kelly why do you have to go to the bathroom in the shower..."

YBBG Topic: Breaking up with a good person

I know y'all have heard that way back when song "Breaking up is hard to do".  I remember having to sing it in 8th grade chorus...but surely I digress.

Anywho....after yesterday's #17 What He Said, I began pondering the dilemma that M.A. was in.  So he's dating a good woman, but they have nothing in common.  He's bored with the relationship and ready to go.  He just doesn't know how to get out of the relationship without hurting her.

So that prompted my hot topic for today.  How do you break up with a good person, without hurting him/her?

Well this is what you all had to say about this situation:

My question is...why would you even want to break up?- DThat must be a trick question.  Answer: not possible.  Not only will they get hurt, depending upon how secure they are in themselves, their self-esteem may take a major blow, also for some it could create an "F it" attitude.  They may feel like 'I didn't do anything wrong, tried to make them…

#17 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend.

Today's Guy:  M.A., financial counselor

How Long I've known him:  We met at some point in college. He went to a rival school.

Today's Topic:   Staying in a go nowhere relationship/cheating

So M.A. and I were talking the other day.  There was some flirting and I asked the big question...Are you in a relationship?! He admitted that he was, I said I don't get down with other women's men...and that opened up a can of worms! LOL.. As you can see, I can turn a normal conversation into an interview...especially when it is an important topic.

Me:  You basically told me you are in a relationship, but not IN the relationship... Umm if you're not IN it, why not leave?

M.A.:  Because I'm not ready to leave.

Me:  You're just stringing her along until what? You find something else?

M.A.: No that's not it.  It's just that the time hasn't been right to do it. She hasn't done anything wrong.  She isn't a bad person.

Me:  That doesn't do her any goo…

CIAA 2011 Survival Guide--YBBG style

I know most of y'all will look for reckless partying and random acts of salaciousness during CIAA.  You know...the basics of acting a monkey fool and other acts of random ridiculousness.   But for those of you who want to attend one of the greatest events to take place each year, and still be able to show your face later (and keep your man or woman, without any instances of domestic violence...)...Here is a guide for you!

NUMBER 1:Know what the CIAA is... I mean some of you really think it is just another black bikers' week, freaknik, or something... Okay...no! Read here for the storied history of the oldest Black sports conference in the country.  That means there are actually basketball games going on during the tournament...

NUMBER 2Have a budget... Now you do not want to come to Charlotte, ball out of control, have your swagger on a hundred, thousand, trillion and go home to a foreclosure/eviction notice...and have to duck and dodge the take back man... Frontin' ain&…

YBBG Topic: Time off from the relationship ala Hall Pass

Hall Pass:  A week off from marriage




If your mate gave you a week off from your relationship, would you take it?  Would you give him/her a week off?


knilxino

YBBG Topic: Marry me or else and other ultimatums

So this morning I stopped by the Morning Maddhouse at Power98fm.  I sat in on Battle of the Sexes.  Married friends hanging out with single friends, was the topic. You can listen to the battle here.  Afterwards, the segment on relationship issues, Situations, came on.  The segment happens every Thursday and a listener writes in with a relationship problem.  Today's problem involved a 29 year old woman who has been in a relationship with her 30 year old boyfriend for a year or so.  She wants to get married.  And she wants to know how to push the issue with him.

So we went in on whether or not she's crazy for even thinking about getting married.  How long you should be with someone before you put the whole marriage subject on the table.  Is she what he wants...etc... How does she handle it now? Should she put out an ultimatum?

That brought up the question: Do ultimatums work?

Here are some answers from some of the readers...add yours in the comments.
They can, but that could…

YBBG Topic: Broken hearted REVENGE

As I was listening to the Lonnie Hunter Show on Praise 100.9, he mentioned all of these news reports of women seeking revenge.  He brought up Mary Harvey and her campaign against Steve Harvey.  Then he mentioned a lady who runs a site called http://www.wesleyvanjohnson.com/.  Apparently he is a minister with whom she unknowingly had an affair. 

That prompted me to ask the question.  "Be honest.  Have you ever thought about seeking revenge against the person who broke your heart?  If so, what would you do?"

Here are some of the answers!  Add your own to the comments.

Never thought about really getting back at them but I've often thought I'd love to witness what happens when Karma/what goes around comes around/ whatever u wanna call it- pays them a visit. I actually did in high school.  My girlfriend cheated on me, so I broke up with her.  After that I began making a name for myself, and she wanted me back! I told her we are a couple again, had sex with her, then dum…

BET's The Game: Episode 6 Recap




Don't you know who I was?!
Malik in Rehab:  Show starts out with a young blonde girl talking about how rough it is with her drug habit and how she couldn't pay the rent. Malik is making side comments.  And slurping on a soda. He interrupts and basically tells them this is boring.  Everyone at the rehab center is too over Malik and his snarky attitude.  He tells one dude he didn't want to hear anymore about him being molested by his babysitter.  And refers to the other rehab residents as "druggies". (I don't know why I dig the bad boy attitude of Malik...lawd forgive me...)
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YBBG Topic: Blue Collar vs White Collar

This is an age old question...or maybe it isn't and I'm just saying it is? Eh...

Ladies:  Do you prefer white collar or blue collar men?

Gents: Do you prefer skilled workers or professional women?



Answers so far from the fellas:

Professional!A Professional Black woman...all day...all night (from some fella running an interracial dating magazine on Twitter.)Fine! Actually I am uppity...I like education.


Answers so far from the ladies:

Athletic and blue collar.White collar guys can be more high maintenance.  Blue collars can be insecure about me being professional.  So...depends on the guy.

#16 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend.




Today's Guy:  Unhappily Married Guy
How long I've known him: a long time
Today's topic:  How it feels to be in an unhappy marriage.
I've seemingly had this discussion with a few guys. About marriage and being unhappy for a myriad of reasons.  And anyone will tell you, I do not believe in divorce.  I'm the one they come to knowing, I will try to find ways to help them work the marriage out and to stay in it.  For me marriage is sacred.  It is, however, difficult to see a friend go through the pains of an unhappy marriage.  Especially when that friend was always so in love with the notion of marriage and family.  So today that's what the conversation is about. Check out the ebook for a more in depth discussion of this topic.) 

More reflections at dawn

So I'm up and there is an infomercial on about early eighties love ballads. LOL...Very interesting. I actually remember most of them, even though I was a little kid/toddler when they came out.

But anyway...that's not why I'm writing.  I'm writing because at these times in the morning I am usually in the midst of contemplation.

Thinking about the discussions I've had this past week.  The people I've come into contact with most recently.  The sermons I've heard.  All of that.

UNC VS DUKE--More than a rivalry

UNC VS DUKE--MORE THAN A RIVALRY
I won't be able to focus today. I have to go to work, but my mind will be on tonight's game. If you don't know...tonight is game one of UNC vs Dook for this season. It goes down at 9 p.m.




Since I was a little girl, I have watched these games. So I guess my love dates back to my earliest memories somewhere around age 3. Some people don't get it. THIS IS THE GAME!! Bump the World Series...Forget the Super Bowl!

If you have any love for sports...most people know that this is THE biggest rivalry in sports. I know...some of you want to say Yankees vs Red Sox or Army vs Navy... Not so!

BET's The Game: Episode 5 RECAP

"Baby Mama Drama"
Kelly, Melanie and Tasha Mack:  They are all sitting around taking shots. And drinking and parlaying. Mel tells them that Janay has Derwin jumping through hoops.

They cut to Janay Derwin and DJ.  Janay is literally telling Derwin to jump through a hula-hoop.

Derwin and Melanie:  Derwin is tired. Melanie asks if Janay is going to allow them to take DJ to Disney. Derwin says he doesn't know...the way Janay has him in and out of court all the time.  But he will ask.

Dante and Tasha Mack:  They are at a five star restaurant. Tasha says she needs to get a Mazarade. Tasha tries to pay for the meal, and Dante says you don't have to pay for his dinner. He says that she shouldn't have to go to fine dining three nights a week.  Tasha tells him she's got cash flow...and can spend whatever she likes. He says she's hood rich and needs to calm down and stop trying to throw her ballin' in people's faces all the time.  Why can't they go to Ch…

"Love Intercepted" by Rhonda Patterson, fact or fiction?



 For the past two days the gossip blogs have been buzzing with the story of Antonio Cromartie's ex-fiancee, Rhonda Patterson (Rodgers) and her tell-all book.  Is it a cautionary tale? A jilted love story? A salacious novel?

The truth? Maybe it is all those things...or none of those things.  I haven't read the book.  I don't plan on reading the book.  But I have spoken candidly with the author.

I've been torn over writing this blog, because Rhonda has a daughter, and according to people who know Rhonda, she is a really nice person.  My whole purpose in writing has always been to help people heal from whatever it is they are being damaged by.  And to offer insight on what guys are thinking or what everyday people go through.

On January 25, 2011 Rhonda was on a relationship panel that I co-hosted with a local entertainment company.  The topic was dating a professional athlete.

BET's The Game: Episode 4 RECAP

It was all good just a week ago.


Tasha Mack: Tasha is in the kitchen with her maid trying to show her how to clean the stove. She says she doesn't want old meat mixed in with her new meat.  She see's the report on Malik's arrest.

Derwin:  He's walking into the room in a grey t-shirt and the report comes across the T.V. that Malik was arrested.

Jason Pitts: Jason is at the club with yet another chick (what is going on with J-Pitts? He's just ho-ing around isn't he? Where is Camille aka Stacy Dash?) and he sees the report about Malik's arrest.
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