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Showing posts from March, 2014

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Anatomy of a 'Pop Up'

Confession:  I have pulled a Pop Up once in my life... What is a Pop Up:  Showing up to your boo-thang's spot unexpected, unannounced, uninvited, and possibly unwelcome. Why Pop Ups Happen: Discord in relationships. Parties Involved: The uninvited Popper...The unsuspecting Pop-ee...The voice of reason friend...The instigating friend(s) My Pop Up story is kind of typical. Many...many...many years ago. I pulled my one and only pop up. Honestly...there was no suspicion when I pulled the Pop Up. I wasn't trying to catch the guy in anything... I only wanted to continue a conversation we'd had earlier in the week. My ex-boyfriend and I had broken up. We had just started back talking to each other. I talked to my girls about it (big mistake LOL) and they encouraged the Pop Up. As a matter of fact them heiffas suggested it! LOL I had never pulled a Pop Up before...ever...Never wanted to. I always thought they were crazy anyway... Sadly...I had no voice of reason in t

THE MYTH: 'Let a man be a man'

WARNING: RANT   AHEAD I seriously cringe every time I hear the asinine (to me) comment: "You have to let a man be a man..." said in public. That is by far one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. No one can "let" you be anything that God made you to be...sorry... But it is impossible for someone to control a dude's manhood. They can choose the type of man  they want to be affiliated with. And those CHOICES are made by how well you treat someone and how well that person treats you...or how poorly. The TYPE of man a guy decides to be is his decision. But being A MAN happens by virtue of growing up...That's just my take. Admittedly, I am a cold piece of work...but not in the way many may think. I just hate whining. I was speaking to someone I hold near and dear and asked why I am so hard on women. This occurred because I wouldn't partake in man bashing. I don't take part in woman bashing either. People make decisi

In love with abuse

The woman sitting in Black attempts to intervene. The Caribbean lady tries to talk sense into them. So there's this video I came across on Facebook, that I'm having trouble posting here due to my lack of tech-savvy. (Here's the link:  DV on NY subway train ) It shows a couple on a subway train in New York. The lady, who is pregnant, is standing at the door and her child's father in a Black jacket is in front of her arguing. She says he puts his hands on her and she's tired of it. He says he's sick of her mouth and rolls up on her in a threatening manner. Passengers initially ignore the couple, until they cannot handle it any longer and intervene... But what happens toward the end will piss anyone off and is the reason why people don't intervene in DV situation... Some people are truly in love with abuse. It is part of their definition of love. It was brought up in them like good manners and dressing well. They cherish fond memories t

Alex Gidewon, not CIAA, is responsible for the Sheraton party...

First let me say I am a proud graduate of an ACC school. However, I am extremely proud of the CIAA , which boasts several HBCUs as part of its membership. These are the schools that educated massive numbers of African-Americans when we were not allowed to attend other public universities, and continue to produce outstanding scholars and scholar-athletes. For that, I am grateful. This morning, I saw disturbing headlines from local Charlotte stations claiming that there was a shooting at a CIAA party. Having experienced the CIAA in three different cities with no violence, (Winston-Salem, Raleigh, and Charlotte before 2014), I was shocked. I was not shocked that violence occurred...I was shocked that it happened at a CIAA sponsored event. At least that's how the news initially reported it... The headline initially read: Two people  shot  during  CIAA  party at crowded uptown hotel - WBTV  ... shot -during- ciaa -party-at-crowded... ‎