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Showing posts from July, 2016

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Dating 20s vs 30s: The down side

I received an email from a young man who has been reading this 20s vs 30s series. He was concerned that the bent from the blogs was that dating for serious relationships was best done in your 30s. And he felt that meant I didn't believe he could find a serious relationship at the age of 23.  
I actually feel like age isn't a grave factor when it comes to finding healthy, sustainable relationships. Healthy relationships are more depended upon maturity and self-awareness. Quite honestly, there are difficulties that we all face no matter our age.
In the first post in this series, I stated that not much has changed for me now vs in my 20s. But over the course of discussing this topic with others and thinking about some things, I've realized there are some things to which I have paid little attention. 
1. Time is a scarce resource
When you're young, fly and free...it seems like you have more time than you know what to do with. You could do spontaneous dates or multiple date…

Dating 20s vs 30s: A lady's perspective

After collecting info for this series of blogs, I realized that my respondents were somewhat monolithic. Most are college grads with professional careers, so keep that in mind when reading. 
I posted a 30 something Guy's response to this topic, and thought this lady's response was also deserving of a separate blog.
Keep reading for a lady's perspective on dating after her 20s.

How is dating different for you now vs in your twenties?

1. Looking for Boaz, not whomever. 2. Guys have gotten smarter and are more honest. 3. More obstacles.... Ex wives, kids, careers, mortgages.  4. More options - now that I'm 30 something, late 30s and 40s don't sound so old. I'm having a much better time in my 30s😎😍💅🏾

Also, right around 2/3 years out of undergrad, there's a wave of marriages.  If you make it to 30 and you're still dating, you'll see half of those marriages are still intact and half of them are not, which relieves the pressure of getting married. You see…

A Tomboy's Guide

The eBook (pdf only) version of A Tomboy's Guide is here! And it is available on Lulu. So what's the deal with A Tomboy's Guide? Well...here's what it is all about:

A deep dive into the male psyche from a woman who grew up playing rough with the boys. A sometimes funny, sometimes emotional examination of the male-female dynamic and how it impacts relationships between parents and children and men and women. Uncover the truth behind mommy and daddy issues, the battle of the sexes and the many complexities of the relationships of men and women. Everyone has relationship problems, but very few have relationship solutions. A Tomboy's Guide is about solutions. This book gets to the heart of the matter: Most folks just do not know how to relate to each other.People seek to blame instead of heal. Confusion and miscommunication drive most conflicts.Relationships do not thrive on expectations of perfection. We all enter new relationships like shards of glass when we carry wi…

Dating 20s vs 30s: A guy's perspective

What you are about to read is an analysis from a 30-something single guy on dating in your 20s vs 30s.
Dating ain’t easy, no matter how much fun it can be, or not be.
   “To be, or not to be” is the question that Shakespeare’s Hamlet asked of himself about life; which only now as a man in my mid-to-late-thirties is better referenced in the dating world.. 
To be single, or not to be single.To go on “this” date, or not go on that date.To make a second date happen, or to not make a second date happen.To be the single man in your neighborhood, your workplace, your house of worship, your circle of friends that let you be you, that support you, or are weary of you, those that feel sorry for you, (from their own perspective) and those that are jealous of you because they still see the blue war paint as you stand as a symbol of their own long-lost days of independence while in their mind you scream “Freedom!” in the relationship version of Braveheart, yet in your opinion it sometimes can be more…

Dating 20s vs 30s: I have changed

A couple of days ago, I wrote the intro to this series of blogs on how things change for you if you're still dating after your 20s.

For some of the people who answered my question about how things have changed, nothing has changed except the technology. 

For others, the main thing that has changed is themselves. That is true for me as well. 
I have grown as a person. In my twenties I was all about me and extremely shallow, to be honest. I didn't look deeply at relationships. I chose guys based solely on how attracted I was to them...and typically on whether they fit a certain look and personality...all of which had nothing to do with sustaining and maintaining a relationship. 
In my twenties, I valued my friendships with guys over my romantic relationships. I treated romantic interests like they were disposable. I did not work on relationships because I didn't have to. In my mind, I could always find another guy if the one I was with no longer met my expectations. 
Someth…