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Fear of the female best friend

What is it like to be the female best friend to a guy when the world believes men and women cannot be friends?  What is it like to be the female best friend to a guy when  the world believes men and women cannot be friends?  I would wager that most people believe there is no possibility of men and women being strictly platonic friends. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard people utter the Steve Harvey philosophy on men and women being friends. Truth be told, men like Steve Harvey cannot be friends with women. I do not see Harvey as the type of man who respects women in any way as equal persons. So, for Harvey (and men like Harvey), women serve only one purpose in his vision of manhood...to be conquered. People typically form friendships with people whom they envision are of the same calibre of character or on their level in some form or fashion. Many people cannot fathom women and men being on the same level (meaning compatible) ...at least not without unde

Traditional Roles in a Marriage

Do you have views on roles in a marriage? This guy, @BlkGuru, attempts to tell an actual husband of 20 years how marriage is supposed to work, in this viral video that is floating around social media. It is hilarious to me. He sounds like he has studied marriage at the feet of another unmarried social media relationship guru.  Growing up in the South, I was raised around "traditional" marriages. They were traditional in that women "kept house" whether they worked or not. I was "rebellious" because it did not make sense to me. If we are all eating and messing up a house, why are we all not cooking and cleaning?  Granted, if one person was the stay at home spouse and did not work outside the house, then working inside the house made sense to me. However, when both people are working and tired, coming home to cook and clean should not be left to one versus the other. Doing so shows a lack of human compassion for your spouse and a level of selfishness that see

Did Kevin Samuels have it wrong?

Psychology Today claims men make up 62% of dating app patrons. Kevin Samuels passed away months ago, but his legacy lives on. One cursory view of many social media platforms explodes multiple KS devotees avowing his teachings about modern women and high value men.    The nature and tone of these views center around the fate of modern women dying single and alone, being lonely, no longer being desirable after a certain age, and/or needing to lower their standards to find a marriageable man. The tone is: women are the problem and need to fix themselves.  A couple of days ago, Psychology Today posted an article entitled "The Rise of Lonely, Single Men" which belies the teachings espoused by KS and his followers. The article focuses on the changing dating landscape and the need for men to develop more skills that are attractive for women seeking healthy relationships.  So which is it? Are men the problem, are women the problem, are both the problem, or is there no problem at a

Bad Habits

Bad habits have kept me from what I love. Writing always brings me a certain level of joy. Overtime, life and my "day job" have gotten in the way of me actually writing like I did years ago. I looked up one day and realized several years had passed since I last interviewed anyone or wrote anything of significance.  So what happened? Well...life happened. I got sick. Or...a better explanation is that I noticed I was sick. I have a bad habit of pushing through even when I don't feel well. In 2019, I had neurosurgery to remove a brain tumor.  I find it wholly ironic that the thing I have cherished the most, my brain, had an impediment that was trying to take me out of here. Which leads me to another bad habit... working as comfort . Most people, who know me, know that I am a workaholic. That is not a good thing at all. Prime example, after my surgery I was supposed to be out of commission for at least 3 months. I went back to work after three weeks.  My body was swollen,

Twelve Years Ago

Guess who's back... Twelve years ago, I started this blog. I wrote prolifically, I interviewed people , and I had a really good time doing it. Portions of the blog were used in a book , eight years ago. This blog took me on a wild ride. Some of the guys from this blog are now married, some with children. One recently became a Super Bowl winning assistant coach.  I met people who were introduced to me through the blog before ever really laying eyes on me in person. That was weird, but I warmed up to it. I became a recurring guest on two different radio stations...something I never saw myself doing. This whole thing was done on a whim, and it became so much more than that.  People trusted me with some of their innermost secrets to post anonymously, and I did. People would reach out to me for relationship help, and I obliged where I could. Often, I tried to not give "relationship advice" in the sense that I do not believe in relationship gurus. More often than not, I saw mys