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Curving or playing hard to get?

You meet someone... attractive, seemingly interesting and available. Everything is cool. You exchange numbers...and then the games begin.

The games...Who should call whom first? How long do you wait between number exchange and using the number? Is sending a text appropriate? How many texts are too many? What time do you call? What if you call and the other person does not answer? Should you immediately answer? What happens if you always answer? Do you seem too available? Are you not available enough? So on and so forth.

Within a couple of weeks of each other, two of my best guy friends hit me up to talk about the obstacles they face when first getting to know women these days.

Obstacle 1: The real you

He said: I woke up and did not know who I was lying beside. 

He also said: I had to let her dry cleaning bill was becoming too expensive and I had to keep buying new shirts.

Keep in mind he's an undiscovered comedian...but my one good friend tells me these stories about meeting …
Recent posts

Refuse to be a girlfriend...if you want to be a wife

I think boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are stupid. is cute for high school and maybe even your early twenties...but after a certain point, it just seems really silly for grown people to be in these situation-ships. Particularly for people who actually want to be married.

It is one thing if you do not believe in marriage, and boyfriend-girlfriend is the highest level of commitment you intend on making, but it is a whole other ball game when your desire is to be a spouse.

People are literally running around in pseudo-marriages for years on end...with all of the duties and responsibilities of marriage and none of the benefits. Let me reiterate, I am talking about people who want to be married.

I do not care what anyone says, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are not "practice for marriage." There is no such thing as a test-drive for marriage. Once you exchange vows, everything changes. You cannot date someone long enough to ensure that he/she will always be commi…

Substance abuse and domestic violence (Guest Post)

If you have been a long time reader, you know that I post Domestic Violence Awareness posts every October. In my non-blogger life, I have appeared on radio as a DV Awareness expert. My younger sister is a Teen Dating Violence Prevention coordinator and has appeared as an expert in local media in her city. Part of my sister's platform discusses the role of substance abuse in teen dating violence. I was thrilled when I received a message from Michelle Peterson, of Revovery Pride in Anaheim, California, asking to submit an article for YBBG readers on this topic. Peterson's post appears below.

The Link Between Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence by Michelle Peterson
The United States Department of Justice found that 61% of domestic violence offenders have substance abuse problems. Alcohol use is reported in nearly half of all domestic violence cases. Even when an alcoholic is sober, abuse is more likely to occur and likely to be extremely violent. Similar to the patterns of substa…

Dating games...when every player loses

Has dating become so complicated that coupling is becoming impossible? Between Netflix and Chill and Baller Alerts... how do people even manage to get together these days? Far too much strategizing and game playing goes is hard for people to get through the hazy maze and get to know each other. Yesterday, a lady sent me the screenshot below, that she retrieved from Instagram, and asked my thoughts on the exchange in the texts.

'But the ladies, they're supposed to be silent...'

Controversies tend to abound when Jameis Winston's around. Mainly because of situations he's placed himself in coupled with positive and negative expectations people have placed on him based on his status as a big personality in the game of football. Yesterday, Winston made a grand statement to elementary school children that was supposed to be about self-esteem and empowerment. It went left.

Cheating rehab

He cheated. Your heart is in a thousand pieces, but he swears he will never do it again. Do you take him at his word, when he literally just told you how he screwed you over?

I do not have personal experience being in the position of taking a cheater back. I know just as many people who have been cheated on as I do cheaters. Plenty of folks have stayed together after infidelity. Some of the relationships are healthy...the others are hellacious. 
I never felt that the reason behind cheating was that complex. People cheat because they want to. Many reasons exist that make people want to cheat. People want to cheat when:

They want commitment benefits, but don't want commitment responsibilities. They struggle addressing their relationship issues.They are not having their desires and/or needs met in their relationship and choose to step outside of it instead of communicating effectively.They'd rather cheat than to leave.They never intended to be faithful.They put themselves in the …