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Substance abuse and domestic violence (Guest Post)

If you have been a long time reader, you know that I post Domestic Violence Awareness posts every October. In my non-blogger life, I have appeared on radio as a DV Awareness expert. My younger sister is a Teen Dating Violence Prevention coordinator and has appeared as an expert in local media in her city. Part of my sister's platform discusses the role of substance abuse in teen dating violence. I was thrilled when I received a message from Michelle Peterson, of Revovery Pride in Anaheim, California, asking to submit an article for YBBG readers on this topic. Peterson's post appears below.

The Link Between Substance Abuse and Domestic Violence by Michelle Peterson
The United States Department of Justice found that 61% of domestic violence offenders have substance abuse problems. Alcohol use is reported in nearly half of all domestic violence cases. Even when an alcoholic is sober, abuse is more likely to occur and likely to be extremely violent. Similar to the patterns of substa…
Recent posts

Dating games...when every player loses

Has dating become so complicated that coupling is becoming impossible? Between Netflix and Chill and Baller Alerts... how do people even manage to get together these days? Far too much strategizing and game playing goes on...it is hard for people to get through the hazy maze and get to know each other. Yesterday, a lady sent me the screenshot below, that she retrieved from Instagram, and asked my thoughts on the exchange in the texts.


'But the ladies, they're supposed to be silent...'

Controversies tend to abound when Jameis Winston's around. Mainly because of situations he's placed himself in coupled with positive and negative expectations people have placed on him based on his status as a big personality in the game of football. Yesterday, Winston made a grand statement to elementary school children that was supposed to be about self-esteem and empowerment. It went left.

Cheating rehab

He cheated. Your heart is in a thousand pieces, but he swears he will never do it again. Do you take him at his word, when he literally just told you how he screwed you over?

I do not have personal experience being in the position of taking a cheater back. I know just as many people who have been cheated on as I do cheaters. Plenty of folks have stayed together after infidelity. Some of the relationships are healthy...the others are hellacious. 
I never felt that the reason behind cheating was that complex. People cheat because they want to. Many reasons exist that make people want to cheat. People want to cheat when:

They want commitment benefits, but don't want commitment responsibilities. They struggle addressing their relationship issues.They are not having their desires and/or needs met in their relationship and choose to step outside of it instead of communicating effectively.They'd rather cheat than to leave.They never intended to be faithful.They put themselves in the …

Hurt Bae and conversations with exes

(Check the update at the end.) So there is a viral video posted by The Scene of college sweethearts having a heart to heart conversation. People are upset about how the guy in the video behaved and are calling the young lady "Hurt Bae."



According to Essence, Hurt Bae was only 22 or 23 when the video was shot, last November. She claims, in their exclusive interview, that she is now over the relationship and has learned a lot about forgiveness. 
Frome Essence: In a now-viral video shot for The Scene, we met ex best friends and lovers Kourtney Jorge and Leonard Long III, who parted ways after he cheated numerous time during their relationship and showed no remorse for his actions. Viewers watched in agony as Jorge confronted Long after their breakup and her heartbreaking emotional response to their painful conversation has spawned memes, timeline debates over who's to blame after infidelity and endless retweets.
When I wrote Your Boyfriend's Best Girlfriend: A Tomboy…

#MLKDay: What if we never had to overcome?

Have you ever stopped and wondered where this country might be had, at the end of slavery, former slaves were granted full citizenship rights and privileges...separate but (un)equal never existed...the Black Codes, Jim Crow, lynchings, and firebombs never happened? What if all citizens were treated equally?

What if redlinging, restrictive covenants and gerrymandering were never implemented, and therefore neighborhoods weren't cut off from building and fully enjoying the benefits of economic prosperity?

Where might this country have been, had these human beings been treated as human beings...finally free to determine their own fate in life without facing the terrorism visited upon them within the bounds of this country? How far ahead of the competition might this country be, had it implemented fully the ideals it espouses so boldly these days..of freedom, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

What if grand marketing schemes built to dehumanize Black citizens never existed? What if…

Friendships: Choose wisely

Choosing good friends is like walking through a maze filled with explosives and determining who's there with you at the end and whether you helped each other get through or just happened to arrive at the same place at the same time.

People toss the word "friend" around too freely and then wonder how they end up falling apart, realizing that they had the kind of "friend" who was never an actual friend but just ended up in the same place at the same time. Friendship, for me, is that we both actually care that the other makes it through and sometimes we may even make sacrifices for  each other to see that our friend is good. It isn't necessarily about where that friend can take you or you him/her, it's the concern that no matter where you end up, the friend has your back and you his/hers.


FIRST RULE OF FRIENDSHIP: Do you no harm.

Like any relationship, friendships aren't supposed to cause you pain and suffering. Yes, misunderstandings happen and hurt f…