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Showing posts from October, 2011

Tip Jar

Dressing for trouble?

EXCUSE THE LANGUAGE...BUT IT IS FUNNY! One of my good friends called me to talk about a Halloween party he worked over the weekend and all of the scantily clad drunken women who attended.  Mind you, it was probably under fifty degrees here over the weekend.  But apparently women came to the party leaving barely anything  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to the imagination. So that begs the question... When does how you dress draw certain negative attention? Don't confuse the question.  It does not mean that you DESERVE poor attention.  However, you can DRAW certain attention based on how overly exposed you are at the time. Let's be serious...that Dave Chappelle joke was not far from the truth.  There is such a thing as a "whore uniform".  Ask any guy, and he will tell you it is so.  It goes back to commanding respect.  Sure some jerk may try any woman... But you have to respect yourself enough to give a guy pause before he approaches you in that manner. A number

YBBG on The Daily Buzz

YBBG recently contributed to the site THE FIVE BIGGEST BREAK-UP MISTAKES. The five tips were broadcast on The Daily Buzz on October 11, 2011, as seen in the video above.  (MORE AFTER THE JUMP)

Men say the darnedest things

Have you ever been around a bunch of guys speaking freely?  Or had serious discussions with guys about how they REALLY feel about certain things? At times it can be mind-boggling, sometimes hysterically funny and at others you can be brought to tears.  (MORE AFTER THE JUMP)

Pampering at The Art Of massage

From a TIRED BLACK WOMAN: Thank you Bené Viera!

I wrote about Ms. Viera once before I believe.  And we were somewhat at odds, based on an Essence article discussing dumbing it down to date.

Sharing your bed

How do you and your mate share the bed, and what does that say about your relationship?  Do men prefer one over the other? Ladies do you hog the bed?

That's what turns you on?! Get your mind out of the gutter... THAT is not what I'm talking about... shame on you! I mean what really makes you swoon?  Gets your heart to fluttering? You know the innocent attractions.  I remember a guy escorted me to a friend's wedding, and at some point it had rained.  He lifted me over a puddle that had formed on our path back to the car.  I felt woozy for a second. (Lawd...I hope he isn't reading this...LOL). When asked, people listed the following five things as their top turn ons! 5.  Chivalry 4.  Ambition 3.  Confidence 2.  Intelligence 1.  Sense of humor Does that surprise you?

#24 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend

Today's Guy: No Limit Larry Today's Topic: Daddy's Girls Who he is:  No Leezy aka No Limit Larry is a radio personality and DADDY...he has four boys and one little girl. This may be a recurring theme with Larry and I, as he was the interviewee for #8 What He Said , where we talked about being a young father and balancing work with raising children.  Larry's birthday is in November and part of his birthday weekend he is having a Daddy-Daughter event.  He often talks about his little girl who has him wrapped around his finger.  So I thought it would be worth sharing the father's side of having a Daddy's girl.   What do you all think about being a Daddy's girl? 

NBA lockout cure: College basketball

UNC Basketball team So the pros aren't least not in the NBA .  But who really watches the NBA anymore? Not me. least not until the playoffs.  Although last season felt like a throwback to the good ole days. For some reason, I feel like the NBA lockout in 98 kinda killed the NBA of old.  But college basketball has never been better. :) While the pros and David Stern wrangle over revenue sharing...the college kids are about to hit the hardwood! Which team are you rolling with this season? By the way...Thanks, Q for the pic I "borrowed" LOL

If this is how you feel about love...

I saw this picture on a website.  Initially I chuckled.  But then I thought wow! That's kinda awful.   But some folks have been through so much, that they really feel this way about falling in love again...

Leroy Bell from X-Factor

Leroy Bell, X-Factor contestant I have asked people if they have an age range for dating.  Some say three years over three years under.  Others say ten years older is the max. Ladies, if I asked if you'd give the guy above the time of day, what would you say? Granted, he may not be your type... But would you be surprised if I told you he may be Old enough to be your father or grandfather? Leroy Bell is a contestant on Simon Cowell's X-Factor.  And this young man isn't so young.  He is 59! Initially, I didn't believe it when I read the story on MTO.  But I surfed the web, and it is true! Talk about black not crackin'! Wow! *UPDATE* He actually turned 60 on August 7th!

Death of Dan Wheldon: Relationships and dangerous jobs

Indy car racer Dan Wheldon died in a fiery crash last weekend. He left behind a wife and two young boys. Do you consider a person's occupation when you decide whether or not you will settle down with him/her? If a person has an inherently dangerous job (e.g., firefighter, police officer, race car driver) would you think twice about committing? How likely are you to ask a person to give up dangerous hobbies (e.g., skydiving, motorcycle riding)  in order to be with him/her?   If you had a dangerous hobby, would you give it up? Prayers go out for the Wheldon family and the Indy Car racing fans and workers.

Thugs vs Nerds: The Revenge

I always say people rarely change much on the inside.  They only build layers.  Many guys have complained that women want the bad boys and overlook the nice guys.  Typically the unrelenting complaint about women choosing thugs is a defense mechanism for a number of men who were not "popular" "back in the day". How many guys you know feel this way?  Fellas, are you one of those guys?  Is there no room for a woman to change her mind? grow up? have different expectations?

Sweetest Day is for guys?

So today I wrote an article, " What is Sweetest Day? " about the origins of a holiday that falls on the third Saturday in October.  Which means, today is Sweetest Day. I asked some of my Twitter followers and they filled me in on the origins of the holiday.  Then when I came back from dinner tonight, I decided to dig deeper. Apparently Sweetest Day has been treated like Valentine's Day for men.  You how we ladies have Valentine's Day on lock...and many of us would have a conniption if our gifts are not in place come Feb' 14th... well today is supposed to be the guys' day to kirk out. So ladies, did you hook your men up? We don't really celebrate Sweetest Day down South...but according to my sources it is big in the Midwest.

100 Common Sense Dating Tips ebook now available

  Apple just released the iPhone 4s .  And Blurb just released 100 Common Sense Dating tips (both versions) in ebook format for all Apple products! If you have an iPhone, iPad, iTouch, iPod...You can now purchase the ebook version of my very first book(s). The books are in two versions.  The black and white version includes 20 date ideas as well as tips  that take you from meeting to marriage! The full color version includes pictures of singles and couples, and quote from great men you should know! To purchase either visit !  The paper copies of both books are available as well! Happy reading!

Breaking the barrier: Can you get too comfortable in your relationship?

So you've been together for awhile.  The honeymoon is over and you are getting quite comfortable in your relationship. Can you get a little too comfy?  I mean...should some stuff remain a mystery...Like the fact that you can belch out the National Anthem.  Or that you flip your draws inside out and wear 'em again (fellas....)? Or that you wear granny draws? How comfortable is TOOOOOOOOO comfortable?  What things do you do when you are good and settled in your relationship, that you did not do when you were just kickin' it or dating?

Body Image:

SERENA THICK? FIT? TOCCARA THICK? VOLUPTUOUS? ZOE SLIM?  FIT? Model Fit?  Big? Model Skinny? Slim?  Jill Big? Thick? The terms above have been volleyed back and forth for some time now.  Who knows what is what these days? When it comes to looks and appearance, no definition is solid.  Too often women and their self esteem get lost in the image of what is hot right now. What do men like?  You're not're obese . I like 'em slim and fit .                                                              I need a woman with curves .              I can't do nothin' with BONES ! Ain't nothin' wrong with a little   MEAT on your bones.              A woman with HIPS and a small WAIST. The funny thing is... men who like WOMEN.  Even guys who have certain preferences for a specific body type, will still like a woman who does not fit that type.  Too often we get controlled by the boob tube...aka TV... and images in magazines a

The other side of the game

If you've been reading this blog for some time, you know that it is based on my friendships with guys. (If you haven't...hey there! Welcome and all that good stuff!) Many people don't understand  question (Ok...they ASSume a lot...) why so many of my guy friends are athletes. Either past or present.  For the most part, those were the types of guys I was always around growing up.  I went to a high school that won state football championships. (Charger PRIDE!!)  I matriculated at the greatest basketball university of all time! (Go Heels Go!!)  I've always been into sports.

Terrell Owens: When fame is not enough

Terrell Owens was one of my celebrity crushes...until I watched his reality show.  No, I was not put off by his choice in women, nor his continuous ignorance toward Kita.  It was his disregard for one of his children that got to me.

Warning signs your love may be dangerous

Had a chat with a schoolmate last night about warning signs that a person you're dating may be a little ummm "touched". There is a really good reason for this conversation, as this month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Honestly, think about it... Most people show little glimpses of crazy when you first meet them.  I am an advocate of doing background checks.  That doesn't mean being like the FBI...BUT you really should thoroughly research, probe, and analyze when you meet people.  (Now don't get all crazy doing it...) SIGNS YOUR BOO MIGHT BE COO COO

Tionne T-Boz Watkins is fierce and fearless

How many of us have the courage to THRIVE?  Thriving means, though we may suffer, we go through things, we have disappointments and setbacks, we live like they aren't happening.  To thrive we must live with courage and without fear.  To reach whatever goals we set without yielding to our obstacles, we have to be fierce and fearless. T-Boz is a shining example of being fierce and fearless!  In this interview with Dr. Sanjay Gupta from CNN, she talks about how she thrives through Sickle Cell Anemia , and how she did not let the diagnosis of a brain tumor become a setback.

I got a man

Ladies, have you ever been approached by a guy who eventually asks you: So you got a man or what? Now this typically happens before the age of 28. I'd say the perfect age range for such a question is between 21-26. So at some point, 98% of women have been asked this question. Ever wonder why guys ALWAYS ask this? Well they have probably been watching this dude! LOL (Excuse some of the language...but this dude is hysterically funny!)

MisAdventures of Awkward Black Girl: Dating multiple men

First, excuse the language in the video.  My homie, Aishah, put me on to this web series, and it is hilarious to me. This episode is especially funny to me.  The office politics and the different personalities of the coworkers is hilarious!!! Here's a translation for what Baby Voice Darius says in the meeting that I got from youtube: (Roscoe's) Darius a.k.a. "Baby Voice"--"Um...I'm sure that Roscoe's seems like uh...a great fit, and um...from what I heard the chicken is delicious...but what about those of us, who don't eat meat?" (The lemon) Darius a.k.a. "Mean Side-Eye"-- "Can you, uh...pass me the lemons?" [J is lost] "Can you pass me the lemons, please?" (D. side-eyes her, squeezes the lemon in his glass, mixes it, still side-eyeing AND pursing his lips then drinks it feeling like "Oh yeah, that's the stuff" and smirks.) ABG has had her eye on Fred (who bears a striking resemblence to one

Just a nobody

This was one of my favorite songs growing up.  Remember, I grew up in a very religious home.  Anyway, it tells the story of an old homeless man, who wanted to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  People would turn away from what he had to say because of his outside appearance.

Love hurts?

This story was on my cousin's Facebook page. I don't know if it is a true story, or one crafted to make a point.  October is Domestic Violence Awareness month.  It is so necessary that men and women pay attention to not allowing violence to EVER enter their relationship.  This is not love. Love does not hurt, envy, it is not covetous. Love is a positive thing.  If you find yourself in a situation like this one, find your way out.  IMMEDIATELY.  I personally lost two friends to DV.  It is THAT serious!

MediaTakeOut sued by Evelyn Lozada

Photo that appeared with the original story on MTO. Ok... I laughed when I read this headline: Basketball Wife claims she was defamed .  And laughed even harder when I read the details. Evelyn Lozada claims that MediaTakeOut defamed her with stories insinuating that she cheated on Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson with Terrell Owens and that she was leaving the show due to being pregnant. 

Diggin' on You: When did liking someone become so complex?

So after work yesterday, I went to interview this guy for the What He Said segment of this blog.  Somehow we just got to talking...and the interview never happened. SMH!  Four hours later (YES SERIOUSLY)...four hours later, I realized I never started my Kodak Playsport to get into interview mode. What happened? Well we started talking about all that stuff that people NEVER talk about.  And one of the topics was: When did liking someone become so complex? I mean dang.  What happened to simply saying: I mean shoot...back then, you didn't have to ask any questions other than the simple one that you really wanted to know the answer to anyway.   Now? Please! Finding out how someone feels is like solving quadratic equations. Probably because of that dreaded fear of rejection ! That thang is for real! Yes, I get deep a lot of times.  So in all honesty, I know why it is so complex nowadays.  All of these life experiences we've had that plague our psyches make it difficul

Do not listen to what people say

I remember way back in the day.  It may have been middle school or something.  We were in health class and they showed us the movie The Karen Carpenter story.  Karen was a singer, alongside her brother, in the 70s or something.  One of the songs they sang was "Close to you".  Others were "Rainy Days and Mondays," "A song for you," and "We've Only Just Begun." Karen had a beautiful voice, was a talented drummer and she entered the spotlight as a teenager. The purpose of us watching the movie was to have a discussion about eating disorders. In the movie, Karen developed an eating disorder after she heard critics call her chubby and chunky. Below is part of a documentary on her life and death.  The reason I bring Karen up is, in dealing with different people and their issues, I have discovered that sometimes the problems people develop come from listening to other people.  I cannot say that Karen developed this eating disorder because a f

Brotherly-Sisterly love

 Kenny aka Bud, Rudy, and Peter, The Cosby Show  I always say that if you're lucky in life you get two families: The one you're born into and the one you get to choose. I have been lucky enough to have both.  My "born into family" helped mold me into the person I am.  My "chosen family" helped me see the person I could be.  My "born into family" poured love into me.  My "chosen family" brought love out of me.

Put it all on the table

Today my gal pal ran in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure.  Afterwards she, I, another pal, and three gents went for brunch.  What transpired at brunch was a conversation for the ages. The guy in the video, L.M., I have known all my life.  Like literally.  Initially the conversation was about Mexico City considering renewable marriage licenses .  Basically once you're married, the contract can be reviewed and renewed in a set number of years. And you would not have to go through a divorce once the time period runs out.