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'Fix me a sandwich'

The look on my face when I heard the "outrage" over
Cam Newton's comments to Jourdan Rodrigue. 

"Fix me a sandwich," is something I've heard from some rude behind menfolk when they feel they are the authority on a particular subject where women need not speak. I feel it is said to not only dismiss your opinion but to put you in your place. You know.. like the only thing women are good for is catering to a man and making sandwiches.

Some dudes, who have never had women as peers, tend to see this as no big deal. Why? Because they have only been around other like-minded clowns with little exposure to women as anything other than sexual objects or romantic partners. That's just how I see it. Over time their views may change, but they hold onto nasty little habits when it comes to interacting with women.

Bad habits are hard to break. I have a bad habit of checking Facebook when I wake up each morning. That bad habit sometimes takes me down a rabbit hole of debates and snarky comments...and I thrive on the snark!

This morning I woke up to this:

I need your opinion on the Cam Newton fiasco. How would you have responded if you were the reporter asking the question?

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My response was:

Ha! I would have snapped back with something about him. Something about I never thought I'd see a male wearing blouses at postgame interviews, but here we are! 

I didn't think it was that deep.


Granted, I had to look up the "Cam Newton fiasco" because I had no clue what was going on. I found the comments and thought: Cam said something stupid again...and blew it off. I listen to local sports radio quite often, so when I turned it on to check further, I was blown away.

But...the Newton comment to Jourdan Rodrigue wasn't what blew me away, it was the "outrage" of the men in sports media that took me by surprise. I have listened to this particular sports station for about four or more years. "Fix me a sandwich," was the going line on more than one show whenever a woman would call in with an opinion. They have tampered that down, and actually canned one of the main culprits (yet even he was tweeting about how wrong Newton was.)

I listen to hosts talk about their wives like they are "ball busters," give a break down on the "hotness" of female reporters, and make all manner of sexist remarks about women on the daily. Or they go the other route and talk about women as though we are not people, but inanimate objects in need of rescue. It's annoying, but not frightening or utterly offensive, clearly, I still listen to the shows.

I am more annoyed than offended when men make the kind of remarks Newton made to Rodrigue... 

I am more annoyed than offended when men make the kind of remarks Newton made to Rodrigue about being surprised to hear a female reporter talk about routes. To me, Newton's comment was more about being impressed that a non-NFL playing woman knew what wide receivers, tight-ends and running backs do on offense, even though non-NFL playing men comment on the same topic every single day. To me, that was lightweight sexist. I mean very lightweight. I think Newton was trying to be "cute" with his comment and it bombed. Rodrigue took major offense to it, and that was well within her rights.

I do believe she helped fuel the fire with her clandestine comments about him "making it worse" when they spoke face to face, yet would not reveal what he did to make it worse. It felt to me that she was trying to milk being a "victim" of sexism...and I happened to find that as pathetic as I found Newton's comments.

Sometimes you have to show grace, especially when you may need that grace yourself. 

Further, all of the folks running in to play knight in shining armor or Queen Feminist, afterward, was too much for me! I am constantly in male-dominated arenas and learned, at a very young age, how to handle it. Disrespect will come at you in many forms, however, you have the power to curtail the foolishness. If you let people break you, you will always be broken. I may not have the physical strength of a man, but when it comes to wit and intelligence, I'm a powerlifter and refuse to be broken. Besides, people say stupid stuff that you can just let blow up in their own face, but as one Twitter account said, sometimes you have to show grace, especially when you may need that grace yourself...as Rodrigue eventually did when people found old comments she made on race.




So anyway, help me if I'm being physically attacked by some jerk...but if he's just flapping his yaps at me... you had better help him!

Should I have to adapt just because it is a male-dominated arena?


Should I have to adapt just because it is a male-dominated arena? Yes, I should! The same way men have to make some adaptations to me being there, I have to adapt to the environment they have created. Menfolk tend to haze people into their circles in a way that is slightly different than how women haze...and yes, women do haze! Just because I get hazed in as a woman does not make their hazing wrong. I  have heard athletes talk sideways to male reporters all the time (think back to Ali and Howard Cosell...) so why should a woman expect anything different?

I listened to Amy Trask on PrimeTime a show on WFNZ this afternoon, and she gave the best commentary on the entire situation.


So, the next time some clown tells you to fix him a sandwich, tell him to eat the hotdogs on the back of his neck and wash them down with the keg around his waist. See if he can take what he dishes.

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