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'I do not trust you'



PLAY VIDEO AT THE 6:58 MARK

RoomieLoverFriends is my favorite web series from Black&SexyTv. The concept is that these two roommates start creepin...and then fall for each other.



In this particular episode, Tamiko and Jay go to counseling. Mind you, they are just now getting serious.


    1.  Oct 12
      What do ya'll think?? RT : Do y'all agree with the doctor? I do lol
      5:01 PM - 12 Oct 2014 · Details
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    2.  Oct 12
      I think the doctor used reversed psychology.
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    3.  Oct 12
      “: I think the doctor used reversed psychology.”
      Expand


Isn't it funny how we go into relationships and get deep before we get committed? Shoot...I know married people who don't really know each other when they marry then get shook like jook  when the cloaks come off. People get caught up.

So...maybe counseling before committing on any level would be beneficial... What do y'all think? I mean people do premarital counseling but most do it as a formality.

 Let me get to the "I do not trust you" part.

 Truth be told...how can you trust someone you don't know? Also, how do you pin so many expectations on someone who you're just starting to formulate a bond with? I don't think you should. Surprise...surprise...I thought the Jay character was right when he told Tamiko that whatever he did after she said she didn't want to be with him was none of her business. (I guess that's the part of me that dates/thinks like a dude.)

If I'm interested in a guy...I owe him nothing but interest. IF I'm committed to him, then and only then, should he develop expectations of me. That's just how I see it. Otherwise...you have no ownership stake in my life.

I accept you...you accept me...then we start building trust and expectations as a couple. Otherwise..we're just liking and lusting...and that's about it.

To me, that's a simple concept. Most people I've run into don't feel my philosophy, however. LOL
Coming from a vantage point of always dealing (professionally) with relationships that are in chaos, I see the same patterns over and over and over again.

People are led by likes and lust and don't take time to commit and build trust and expectations TOGETHER. 


There's no real communication upfront...there's just a lot of giving into emotions. There are plenty of compliments and good feelings, and very little transparency up front. (A guy explains why this happens in his relationships in Chapter 16: Keeping Secrets, in YOUR BOYFRIEND'S BEST GIRLFRIEND: A Tomboy's Guide To Knowing, Loving And Understanding Men.)  That's probably why they call it the "honeymoon phase."

But I figure you could extend the good feelings if you're real about who you are and what you want upfront...but that's just me. But you also cannot expect someone to open up to you in transparent ways when you feed their insecurities by falling back into your own defense mechanisms (Like Jay running out and getting another woman, when his offers are rebuffed.)

Anyway...what do y'all think? Do people tend to want too much from a person they 1. Don't know; 2. Are just starting to like; and 3. Haven't made a commitment to yet?

Are  people expecting trust and loyalty and all that mature good relationship stuff too soon? Hit me w/your thoughts in the comments below.

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