BBS Confessions 2/20/2012: Going in Circles Part I

Jameka over by the delectable spread before the

conversation got underway.

Explaining his "type" right before things
got spicy!

On Monday night, I facilitated a conversation between men and women of all ages and relationship statuses.  In attendance were at least two married couples, some divorcees, and singles who have never been married.

More participants after Part I.The topic of discussion Monday night was: Why do we keep going in circles? 

Oooow weeee...this was a great topic! I had just discussed certain things that came up during the evening with friends earlier in the week. 

My vantage point.

To start the discussion off, the rules were outlined by Jessica, the lady with the super dope mo-hawk that she could not remember the color of... :) (Yes...there are rules. No...this was not a free for all...even though things ALMOST went there...) 

I started the discussion by asking the participants if they had a "type".  The first brave soul to answer was the guy in the black shirt in the picture above.  He described his type, focusing on the ability of the woman to he desired to go everywhere with him and fit in, from hanging out to work functions.  He said he wanted someone easy going and fun.  The gent also mentioned that he didn't really focus on physical stuff such as skin tone or hair length. 

What did he say THAT for? A lady in the crowd (who I maybe didn't get a picture of) jumped to her feet and said it is time to cut all the PC talk and get down to the real.  She said he knew he had a list and should be honest about that list.  

I asked the lady to pay attention to what the gent said, because he actually answered the question asked and was real about it. What she stated had value, but the value was for her own experiences. (And something others could possibly learn from who had similar experiences...but it was not a cure all for every soul.)

What happened in that exchange, spotlighted a key issue in why people continue to go in circles.  No one listens and understands...many times we just wait to talk and interpret through our trials and errors. 

The conversation flowed back and forth through discussions of male and female platonic relationships, the deadly friend zone, and how people continuously end up in relationship situations they knew they did not want from the outset. (Which goes back to the lady's discussion on keeping it real.)

One guy asked how he could avoid the friend zone, another spoke on how he actually enjoyed being in it.  A lady spoke of how she stepped out of the "CIRCLE" when it came to dating, and explored a relationship with a person from her past who she had previously labeled no good for her.  

Everyone, including the married couples, got in on the convo.  A part II is set for March 5th.