Dating 20s vs 30s: The good, bad, and ugly

Dating in your 20s
For some, dating in their 20s was carefree and fun.
For others it was crazy and confusing. www.yourboyfriendsbestgirlfriend.com


Dating is almost always a topic. There are so many avenues to turn when going down the path of the twists and turns of dating and romantic life. The other day I started thinking about how much dating has changed for me, now that I am over 30.

I am not one who thought I would be married by now. Not at all. Being married was and is, a product of developing the right kind of relationship with the right kind of person for me, not something you do at a particular stage in life. 

Anyway, I cannot say dating has changed a whole lot for me from when I was in my 20s, other than I do not date as much as I did back then. A good chunk of my 20s I was still in school...from college to law school. 

It is funny, I always dated the kind of men whom I hear a lot of women say there are so few of... I dated guys who did not drink or party, but were blue collar, 'round the way kind of guys. I have even gone out with a couple of men who played sports professionally. I dated men with and without children. I mostly dated men who were extremely attentive and loyal. You might ask why I did not settle down if they were so great. Truthfully, it was because I did not want to "settle down." I never quite felt ready or compelled. 

In my early twenties, I juggled. I talk about this in the book "A Tomboy's Guide To Knowing, Loving and Understanding Men." Living in a college town, I seriously got asked out multiple times per week, as did many of my friends.

It was just fun and entertainment. I had little to no interest in forming any kind of serious relationship. Now keep in mind, I was in a relationship part of that time...or in and out of another. But locking down a permanent situation was not in my purview. My only real focus was me. Selfish? Yes. Self-absorbed? Absolutely. Unintentional? You're darn right! 

I also experienced heart break and breaking hearts. 

So in my twenties I was a: SERIAL DATER-NON-COMMITTER

Dating in your 30s and 40s
For many, dating after their 20s (either in their 30s or 40s) brought about
a sense of purpose and significance. For others, societal changes
have rocked their dating lives. www.yourboyfriendsbestgirlfriend.com

I like to think your 20s are reserved for finding yourself. You get to explore your likes and dislikes and realize who you really are as a person. For some, it is a great time to settle down and find a mate, while taking that life journey of self-discovery with a partner.

For others, it is the worst time to try to drag someone along your bumpy, roller coaster ride of a life. Like seriously, you do not need the extra baggage...

Then there are those who just like to be care...and obligation...free.

Once you make it into your 30s...you have lived some experiences that may change the direction of your life. You may have taken the journey of self-reflection and discovered just who you are, what you want, and what you hope to accomplish.

There have been enough years of "adulting" that you may have a lot you are bringing to the table or some other things or people coming along. There is something about hitting your 30s and 40s that lets you know you are truly grown. Some people have kids and second mortgages, passports and new adventures.

You are really living life and actually have established something to share with someone else...or just a desire to continue exploring. Dating may actually be more complex post 20s because you become more serious about it. You have more to gain and more to lose. There are real life decisions to be made, and you have to be conscious of with whom you're bonding yourself to when making those decisions.

If you are a 70s or 80s baby like most of the people who responded to my question about dating changing... you have not only experienced personal change, you have also witnessed societal changes that impact your dating, mating and relating life.

I asked this question: HOW IS DATING DIFFERENT FOR YOU NOW VS IN YOUR TWENTIES?

Here are some of the answers I received...others were so in depth that they will appear in their own separate blog posts! 



YOU HAVE CHANGED
Dating 20s vs 30s: You are now a changed person.
www.yourboyfriendsbestgirlfriend.com

SOMEONE ELSE IS COUNTING ON
YOUR DECISION-MAKING



Dating 20s vs 30s: You have more than
yourself to think about.
www.yourboyfriendsbestgirlfriend.com

TIMES HAVE CHANGED 




IT'S NOT ALL FUN AND GAMES


YOU ARE READY FOR MORE



Be on the look out for the next couple of blogs in this series: Dating 20s vs 30s. Where do you fit in? What has changed for you? Leave your answers in the comments! 

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