Boss moves for breakups

Yesterday, I spoke to a colleague about his very fresh breakup and heard the same things from him that I've heard from people forever and a day: (Time Wasted) I feel like I wasted two years. (Blame) It's her fault because she did not... (Insecurity) I guess it just wasn't meant to be, ya know? (Ego) She said it's over, she had better know it because I'm not going back.

Did you see Ciara's Red Table Talk with Jada, Willow, and Gammy? The artist-model-wife-mommy spoke about her transition into happy after a very public breakup with her son's father. A running social media theme is a request for Ciara to share the prayer she prayed to lead her life in a direction toward joy with her husband. 

Ciara's prayer:

Ciara said she was very specific and declarative in her prayer. She prayed to learn from the wisdom she gained, she prayed for discernment, she prayed for a God-fearing man, and she prayed for a man who loves kids. 

That was Ciara's prayer, but what about you? How can you make boss moves in your breakups? 

Practice the three Ms: Mourn, Morph, Move On

Breakups are hard and can really tear you apart if you let them. I have seen breakups bring people to the edge of destruction and careen them over that edge. A breakup once sent me into a dark depression, that it took me far too long from which to recover. 

Breakups really do not have to be so devastating. You can level up (pun intended) from a breakup and go on to live your best life just like Ciara has, without the prying eyes of the world all up on you.


Give yourself time to get over the loss of the relationship. No matter how much time invested, you created something with someone that you cherished, even if for a short time. You have to give yourself time to mourn the ending. Go through the grief, do not dwell in it. It is okay to have good and bad memories with respect to a situation. It does not mean the time was wasted, just that the time was lived. Mourn and heal, do not mourn and destroy. 


Yes, you must change. Think of it as a Spring renewal. In order to give yourself a better life after a breakup, there are things you need to change. You should be able to assess your own moves during the relationship that led to its demise. Rarely is a relationship's end the fault of just one person. So yes, you played a part, now what?

Do some self-analysis, make necessary corrections, and renew your mind, body, and spirit. Grow up and glow up. 

Move on

Not only do you need to get over the breakup, you need to get on with your life. When you are done be done. If you are not done, work on the relationship, but if your work is in vain, keep it pushing, and do not look back. Stop with the backtracking and doubling back. When you do so, you only create more toxicity that you swear you do not want.

Everyone always talks about wanting closure, so they dip back to get it from the person they no longer want to be with, and that does not make sense. How can a person who could not give you what you needed in the relationship give you what you need to get on with your life? He or she cannot. So stop looking for closure from someone else and find it within yourself. After all, your life is your responsibility. Press forward and do not look back. 

So what say you? How do you move on from breakups without dwelling in brokenness? 

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Jessy said…
And one day the sun will rise and you will forget the pain of the relationship. So be it!

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