'You're biased towards men'





"You're biased towards men. You blame women for everything."

"Why are you always trying to play mammy to Black men?! Why don't you stand up for women?!"

"Men just aren't good people! I don't understand how you could defend them!"

I started this blog a few years ago...and these are some of the negative comments I've received about it and my views when I discuss men and women. 

I tell everyone the same thing. I see men and women as equal and always have. You will never catch me bashing men, nor standing closed mouthed when I hear men bash women. I don't understand the bashing and speak against it no matter who's doing it. It's stupid to me.

I do understand why some women feel I am male biased. You won't catch me joining in on a "men ain't ish" session, and you will hear me say things like, "why did you choose someone who disrespects you? Choose someone else." When my sister-girls are discussing what some guy is doing that they don't like.

For some reason that has pissed some of my sisters off, but honestly I don't get why.  You want me to make up some mumbo jumbo about how you can get a disrespectful fool to respect you? Sorry...I refuse to sell BS. He is making a conscious decision to treat you poorly and you're making a conscious decision to take it. You don't have to. If he doesn't want to be a good dude to you, he won't be...so why reward his jackedupness with your persistent work to improve him? I feel like doing so places you in a position of victim-hood and inferiority.

I've never felt inferior to a man, nor have I felt that men were evil. Quite frankly, I tend to view relationships in a similar fashion as many men. That's not something I personally decided to do one day...it's how I grew up and grew into womanhood. And I'm okay with that. LOL

I feel that society and some ill intentioned jerks have taught women to feel deficient when dealing with men. I don't like that. I don't like hearing women complain about men not doing this or that...why complain? Why not take charge of your own happiness and well-being? There's not a man walking this earth who is superior to you. That's what I intend to impart to my sisters. I don't feel we are weak as women. I feel that we don't utilize our strengths and decision making authority at times.

Yes, I understand the male point of view in general. That has never meant that I dismiss the female perspective. If I'm conversing with men about women, I share an opposing view to the perspective the guys share. Likewise, when I talk to women about men, the same is true. I'm about fairness and balance. I detest the battle of the sexes...I wish people could view one another individually, and I will never gender bash. 

Now...a little more truth... Sometimes I seriously just don't understand some of the female perspective. (I'm speaking generally.) I just don't understand some of it. I'm not acting confused, I am confused lol. Which is odd, seeing as I am very much a woman who dates men. LOL...Like it is hard for me to wrap my head around some things...I have this discussion with some family members sometimes. 

Sometimes my homegirls have to explain things to me...no lie...and that's probably a tad bit weird. But I formulated relationship habits fairly similar to the ones they complain about men having. 

For instance, if a homegirl says something like "you can't help who you fall in love with..." I usually look at them like Craig looked at the puppy statue on Friday when he was high.  But the funny thing is...I've heard the same thing from dudes...just not as often. So my perspective is that men and women aren't very different at the core. The differences are how we behave and react. 

It isn't always "wrong" on either side...just different. I explore the differences. 

I think people tend to get a notion that I'm biased toward men because of how I write and what I write about. I mean the blog is based on my friendships with men. I put their business out there (with permission) but don't do that to my homegirls. 

So I asked some ladies who know me: Honest opinion: do you feel I am biased in favor of men? If yes, how so? (Working on a blog)


"I wouldn't say you are biased, you just root for the underdog.  No harm in that. Plus, you relate to them VERY well being that your mind works eerily similar to theirs...That is all!"

"Ummm well, what I can say is that when I speak with you on relationship issues you are quick to give me the man's point of view and where it is appreciated; there have been times I felt like u weren't understanding where I was coming from.  I don't know if that makes u biased or informed😳"

"Hmmmm I don't know. You might give them more leeway."

"I think you can relate very well to the male perspective. Conversations (albeit few ) that we've had seem to lean towards being a cheerleader for men...which could very well relate to your growing up and being friends with so many guys."

"Probably because the premise of your blog is that you're a guy's best friend. That you're a guy's girl. But in real life you'll keep it real with both."

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