10 Commandments for a gentleman
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| 10 Gentleman Commandments |
So this guy from Memphis, Bobby Juice Johnson, posted his commandments for a gentleman on Facebook and it went viral.
It became fodder for MediaTakeout.com and many social media topics of discussion. It's funny when you read stuff like this and see how people react. Many of the guys were outraged and ladies were in disbelief.
I had fun with it amongst my own guy friends, and just egged on their outrage. It gave me a good laugh. Truth be told, not much of what Mr. Johnson outlined says "gentleman" to me, but it screams SUGAR DADDY loud and clear.
Plenty of people disagree with me, and agree with Mr. Johnson. I've dated guys like this before. Well...let me be clear, I've gone out with guys like this before who confuse materialism with gentlemanliness. I cannot blame them, I'm sure someone taught them that and they operated in their previous relationships that way.
Besides, how often have women had to deal with guys who wouldn't spring for as much as a small popcorn at a movie? This offer and definition of "gentlemanliness" will be tempting to a few women who have put up with let down, break down and disappointment from men who use them as ATMs. Could you blame them?
I know guys who financially support women they date. Even ones who won't admit it publicly. At least this dude was honest about it.
Yet, this whole scenario makes me uncomfortable. Equating financial pimping with having good character just isn't cool to me. Eventhough I believe gentlemen pay for dates, I don't believe in boyfriends, or dudes you're just kicking it with, financing your life. That's just crazy to me.
If a man is paying your bills he has a vested interest in those bills. Paying your phone bill, he has a right to question who's calling. Covering every hair appointment, then he can tell you how to wear it...it's his money. Putting gas in your car every week...he can navigate your moves in that car and you bet' not say anything.
Unless he's an idiot, who doesn't mind getting used. To me, this is just a recipe for pimping or being pimped. My version of gentlemanliness has little to nothing to do with the superficiality of hairdos and pedicures. Though, I know plenty of women who fervently feel it is a man's duty to keep them looking good.
I just feel like gentlemanliness is more about character and how a man interacts with other people, not just the object of his affection.
YBBG's 10 Commandments for a GENTLEMAN
1. A gentleman must treat others respectfully at all times.
2. A gentleman is protective: opening doors, walking to the side of a lady closest to the street, shielding a lady from harm.
3. A gentleman keeps his word, and is accountable when he falls short.
4. A gentleman commands respect and values himself.
5. A gentleman has integrity and does not compromise it for cheap thrills.
6. A gentleman communicates and doesn't dictate.
7. A gentleman values a lady as a person and not an object.
8. A gentleman finds a way to deescalate conflict, but is capable of employing brute strength if necessary.
9. A gentleman does not use people or allow himself to be used.
10. A gentleman shows compassion, extends a helping hand and finds ways to uplift people.
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| 10 Gentleman Commandments |
There are plenty of other commandments for gentlemen out there like:
I don't think of gentlemen as doormats. They don't lose the character of manhood, in fact they exemplify it. Gentlemanliness is a showing of power and strength. There's character in being a gentleman and it runs more deeply than surface level showings of adoration.
What do y'all think?
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