Manhood...as defined by YBBG

The Mask You Live In is a documentary about manhood in our society. This film is a good starting point for discussion. There must be a balance. Teaching boys the strength of manhood is not wrong. Teaching boys to not accept disrespect...is not wrong. Respect does not have to be linked to violence. On the flip side, boys should feel secure enough to express themselves. Since this is merely a trailer, I won't assume I know everything in the film.

That being said, I have a very traditional view of manhood. I don't like feminizing men. I'm not for dudes crying all the time. I feel like men have masculine roles and that should not be frowned upon. So, I see the benefit of teaching boys how to fight and allowing them to explore the world without constraining their thirsts for figuring things out on their own. I understand why people tell boys to not cry and to get up and dust themselves off. 

However...there's another side that is sometimes missing...I will call it the "I got your back" principle. 

Why guy friends...I know someone has my back.

It's funny...I always tell people I was raised in a dual way. I learned how to fight early on...like a boy...But...I always knew I would have someone around to fight for me as well.

"I got your back" is what male friendships tend to be about...knowing someone else is watching out for you as you navigate this world. It isn't letting someone navigate the world for you. "I got your back" allows a guy to comfortably express what he's going through without feeling less than a man. 

The problem with how society teaches boys to become men isn't that men are taught to be self-reliant..it's that they are taught to be self-absorbed and isolated. Many are taught fear. People teach men to become afraid of losing their manhood at the slightest sign of vulnerability.

The world teaches boys/men that someone is always out to get them. Guys are taught to always be on the lookout. Watch out for women trying to take their wealth. Beware of men trying to take their pride. Be careful around strangers (or friends) trying to take their lives. Stay on high alert...That's stressful!!

Fear isn't good for anyone. Fear leads to making dumb moves. In the trailer they talk about boys being aggressive. There is nothing wrong with aggression! The problem is not the aggression...the problem is how the aggression is used.

Aggression channeled in the right direction gets you what you want out of life. So we shouldn't demonize aggression, we should channel it into positive avenues. Aggression can be redirected with the proper form of discipline...but that's a completely different topic.

My key point is, there is nothing wrong with teaching boys to become masculine-manly-men. The issue is teaching them to fear that manhood being stripped away and teaching them to become self-absorbed and isolated.


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