FIU player severely injured in domestic violence attack

Mary Gasper faces felony aggravated battery charges
after domestic violence attack on Jonnu Smith.

Mary Gasper of Miami Gardens, Florida viciously attacked her boyfriend FIU senior tight end Jonnu Smith on Halloween night. The news just hit yesterday about the domestic violence that may have ended Smith's very promising football career.


Gasper is currently out of jail on pre-trial release. Reportedly, Gasper (five months pregnant) attacked Smith with boiling hot water because he was not paying her and the relationship enough attention. The reactions to this attack have been interesting to say the least. Often, when a woman is the abuser people say, "Oh he must have cheated," or "she probably needs psychological help."

Domestic violence is still domestic violence when a woman or young woman is the abuser. People tend to sugarcoat it, look for an excuse and victim blame when a woman is the abuser. All of a sudden "provoked" is an okay term to use when the man is on the receiving end of domestic abuse.

I personally view domestic violence as an issue of public health, not gender specificity. Yes, most deaths resulting from domestic violence are the deaths of women. That is absolutely true. However, violence in relationships more often than not comes from both genders.

My sister is a domestic violence prevention coordinator for teens. (Gasper and Smith are still very young.) The statistics for teen dating violence show the split of 50-50 between genders for perpetrators of violence. Are we to pretend that this changes that much as people get older?

At some point, we need to deal with the issue of domestic violence for real, and stop trying to turn it into another gender war. Seriously, cut it out. It is a problem for all of us, no matter the gender. Until we teach and practice that violence is not welcomed in a relationship from anyone, and that emotions are not an excuse for perpetuating such violence, it will continue.

In the case of Gasper attacking Smith, there is a baby involved. That child may enter the world with a mother in prison and a potential father struggling with the physical and emotional injuries that the mother caused. How might this child grow into a productive, emotionally and psychologically healthy adult with this legacy?

No one should get a pass for being abusive and physically violent.

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