Husband material

What makes a man "husband material"? 

Husband material... It was something my college friends labeled my college boyfriend. They would say, "Girl he is husband material, you'd better hold onto him," as I looked at them dumbfounded. What made him "husband material," exactly?

As a matter of fact, what is "husband material" anyway? What does that even mean? The way I figure it, being husband material requires more than great physical attributes, though those don't hurt. It means someone who can actually sustain a healthy relationship. It is more than going to church every Sunday, paying tithes and being on active duty in church ministry, though many a church girl swoons over such actions.

Good decision-maker
To be husband material, a man has to have a track record of making good decisions that far outnumber his bad decisions. I mean, we all make mistakes, but multiple "mistakes" are not mistakes at all, they are more like habits. Furthermore, to meet husband material criteria, any poor habits he has should not create chaos in the lives of others. Ultimately, he has great leadership abilities.

Has and employs self-control 
A man who is husband material has self-control. That means he knows how to manage all of his emotions in a healthy way, or is willing to learn and making steps towards doing so. Self-control also means he can manage his desires in favor of the needs of someone else. Before he goes to get what he wants, and later justifies it, he will consider the needs of those whom he is responsible for, taking care of those needs before he satiates his appetite. Having self-control also means being able to have disagreements without acting a fool, being aggressive or disrespectful.

Manages well what he makes
Husband is actually a verb that means conserving resources economically...go figure. I believe to be husband material, a man has to have financial stability or at least the wherewithal to gain financial stability. That doesn't mean being wealthy, but it does mean being fiscally responsible.

The desires of his heart align with yours

What he wants most out of life matters. His spiritual desires, his love desires, his economic desires, his relationship desires, and his lifestyle desires matter. Those desires are most linked to his core values. If his desires align with your own and he efforts to attain them, that is important. One of those desires must be the desire to be married, maintain a marriage, and build a healthy marriage.

Strength and strength of character

A man who is not easily broken by life's circumstances is a great person to have in your corner. He has principles that you can count on. He is stable and secure in who he is and what he believes in. He is capable of being a rock in weary times and secure enough in himself to be empathetic and compassionate. He can be vulnerable and honor your vulnerabilities. His character is built on being respectful and respectable. He has proven that you can trust him. He can admit his wrongs and seek forgiveness.

Capacity to love, learn, grow, and communicate

Can he love fully, openly, and unconditionally? Does he express himself honestly and judiciously? Can he adapt to changing circumstances?
To build a strong relationship, you have to know how to communicate. That means being able to express, emote, listen, understand and retain. While building with another, learning who they are and how they maneuver through life is important. Growth is necessary for building a strong and sustainable foundation. That means personal growth and growth within the relationship. A man who has the capacity to learn, grow, and communicate well is a strong candidate for marriage.

Are you marrying someone who is marriage material? 

There is a reason why marriage should be entered into soberly. Yes, it is great to be in love and high on oxytocin. When that feeling wears off, however, what are you left with and who are you loving? Marriage is serious business. You are literally putting your life, credit score, heart, and gene pool in the hands of another person. Have you evaluated his capacity to take on those responsibilities?

What do you think makes a man husband material?




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