|Bad habits have kept me from what I love.|
Writing always brings me a certain level of joy. Overtime, life and my "day job" have gotten in the way of me actually writing like I did years ago. I looked up one day and realized several years had passed since I last interviewed anyone or wrote anything of significance.
So what happened? Well...life happened. I got sick. Or...a better explanation is that I noticed I was sick. I have a bad habit of pushing through even when I don't feel well. In 2019, I had neurosurgery to remove a brain tumor.
I find it wholly ironic that the thing I have cherished the most, my brain, had an impediment that was trying to take me out of here. Which leads me to another bad habit...working as comfort. Most people, who know me, know that I am a workaholic. That is not a good thing at all. Prime example, after my surgery I was supposed to be out of commission for at least 3 months. I went back to work after three weeks.
My body was swollen, I was in tremendous pain, I struggled to walk, I could not even drink out of a straw, but I went back to work because it allowed me to focus on something other than what I was going through. Which is another bad habit...trying to not look like what you are going through. I also tend to push people away, so that they do not get a keen view of what I am going through. Then I pop back up like all is well. LOL I had many people in my life, who were upset that I did not share all that I was dealing with as I navigated life with these ups and downs. Bad habits can keep you away from people you love and people who love you.
Trust me, when you have an appearance that everything is okay, even when it is not, people will honor the surface appearance. That means, even when you really need people to show up, they will not know it. That is another bad habit of mine...managing things on my own. I tend not to make space for people to show up for me. I think it is partly because "needy" people irritate me. I hate complaining, especially when it is something you can do something about... My mantra is: Don't complain...do something about it.
That mantra works in many ways, however it can also be counterproductive. Sometimes easy is okay. You do not have to be so hard on yourself. What are some of your bad habits?