Transitioning from tomboy to...
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| wearing boys' sneakers |
Before I begin...let me first say men do like tomboys:
BrooklyNupe @BrooklyNupe
For a woman, it's an asset RT@CM_Writer: I love it when a guy respects my sports addiction. LOL!
Often I speak about growing up as a tomboy. What I don't think I have told you is how the transition from tomboy to "diva" happened. LOL. I don't think I'm a diva, not in the sense of being a prima donna or anything. But I don't know what else to call it. I'm still not a girly-girl. Maybe I should say from tomboy to woman... I don't know.
Anyway, follow me here.
I grew up in a time where being a tomboy was an accepted way of life for many girls. Shoot, it was downright popular. I'm only a couple of days older than Aaliyah. She epitomized the "pretty tomboy" thing. Not to mention TLC. The ladies were all pretty in their own rights, and had that tomboy edge that drove fellas crazy. You could not get me to wear a dress, the color pink, or anything closely associated with being a prissy, girly girl. I even wanted to wear boxers! LMBO (My mama drew the line. She said uh uhn! No way! And I'm thankful...)
I did not want to be a boy. No way. There is a wide spectrum of tomboyness. I was more on the Aaliyah/TLC end...not so much Da Brat and ummm.... Queen Latifah...if you get what I'm saying...
So...I still have not told you about my transition. When I left for college, I still wore baggy jeans and over-sized shirts and boys' sneakers. I don't think I even owned a pair of girl's shoes. Well, I did own some "dress shoes"...meaning I had something to wear to church.
Arriving on campus was a wake up call of sorts. Sure there were still girls on campus who did the tomboy thing, and honestly, it was part of me so I definitely was not going to become someone I was not.
However, what you must learn quickly in the dating world is something everyone knows in business: MARKETING DRIVES DEMAND.
I remember when my cousin helped me move into my dorm, I saw a guy carrying a dorm fridge on his shoulder. My eyes almost popped out of my head. I told her "I'm going to like it here." Even before the "transition", I never had a problem getting a guy's attention. The major thing was getting the right guy's attention for the right reasons. No matter what people say, most people are first attracted to your outer package.
A person can fall in love with your personality, don't get me wrong. I'm not talking about "in love" right now, I'm speaking of attraction. If you want more options, you have to at the very least care about your appearance and market to your audience. So what I noticed when I got to campus was, guys still liked me in my baggy jeans and sweatshirts. BUT the guys I liked, liked the girls who wore TBFPs (Tight black Friday pants hahahaha... I know if my classmates read this they will die laughing.)
No, I did not start dressing like a skank...the way some chicks did...that was not my cup of tea. What it meant was, I transitioned out of the sportswear section and boys' department into stores like Express, Body Shop and Wet Seal (now I'm thinking...how exactly did I avoid dressing like a skank while shopping at the latter two stores? I dunno...). I no longer hid the fact that I was growing into a woman's body from a slim, yet curvy, girl.
Over time, I got into shoes and shopping and hair and all the things I never really cared about at all. Besides a few haircuts here and there, my hair was usually in a ponytail. I did not throw away my baggy clothes or my sneakers. My personality did not change. I was still a tomboy. I just packaged the "tomboy" in a different way.
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