What is this book about?

Get the book here: www.cmwriter.com/books or here: Lulu.com

If you've been with me since the inception of this blog, you will know that I have promised you a book for years. Well...it's here. Let me tell you the truth...writing this book took more energy than I expected. When some colleagues asked, "What is this book about?" I replied, "It's about the blog." When they asked "What is the blog about?" I said... "It's about the book."

HINT: The book's main title and subtitle each have double meanings...


This book is not a "How you get a man" book...it's not a "find your way to love" book... It's a "this is how folks screw up all of their relationships (familial, platonic, romantic, etc...) and figure out how to fix them" book.


Haha

Seriously...the book is about almost everything I have tackled on this blog...in a very unique way: The life lessons of a tomboy. THIS IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP ADVICE BOOK....at  least  not in the sense of a Steve Harvey-esque "This is how you get a man" type book.

Not even close. First of all...I've never quite understood the concern with being able to "get a man"...as that hasn't been my struggle, so I wouldn't have much to tell you anyway. Secondly, I always found a lot of "commercial" relationship advice to be extremely shallow. Every relationship is unique...so trying to apply cookie-cutter info to your situation seems silly to me.

I typically deal with people on a substantive basis in my field of work (I don't consider myself a relationship expert in the least) whereas a lot of relationship coaches/gurus/experts etc stay superficial. I mean, how would I look telling someone that she shouldn't  punish her husband by withholding sex, when the truth is she's dealing with deep-seeded issues of having been sexually abused in her past? (I had this issue come up before with a guy who wrote into my column.)

Basically...I refuse to tell you what to do with your life...unless you ask me directly for my opinion...even then...who am I to tell you how to live your life? I can offer some kindhearted wisdom sometimes...lol

Let me get back to what this book is actually about...

This book is about the life of a tomboy who has her heart shattered to pieces broken. She then goes on a journey to mend it and figure some things out about life...and bumps into other mending hearts along the way. It focuses on a multitude of complex relationships throughout (Parent-child, siblings, friendships, romantic relationships, etc.) The central focus is on men because well...I like them, I was primarily raised around them, and they tend to get bashed to smithereens. Plus...as I have repeatedly stated, everything I've learned about relationships (familial, platonic, romantic) mostly came from men.

The first half of the book introduces you to how the woman became a tomboy and how that tomboy mindset permeated friendships, child-parent relationships, and dating relationships. It dives deeply into her positive perception of men and how it was cemented at an early age and stayed despite a traumatic experience. The tomboy's positive perception of  men is in stark contrast with the perceptions other people in the book have...including a popular celebrity.

When the tomboy, as a grown woman, comes into contact with a little girl who says, "Men are pigs and dogs and they all cheat!" She realizes how early negative perceptions can impact adult relationships for the foreseeable future... That little girl's perception had to come from somewhere...she couldn't have possibly formed it on her own. The book unravels the web of judgment and misconceptions that are borne out in the constant battle of the sexes that occurs in the dating-mating-marrying world.

The second half of the book includes the conversations between the tomboy and several men from a myriad of backgrounds. Three of the men are associated with professional sports (MLS, NFL, NBA). A few are married. Three are divorced. Some are religious, others aren't. Some grew up with both parents, a few did not. One guy is a prisoner. Another is a cheater. There is a bitter "nice guy", an in love boyfriend, and a heartbroken ex-husband. A couple reformed "players"...and a dedicated husband and father. There's a military guy, a couple of educators, some blue collar guys, etc.

Why so many guys?

I want to make a point that all men are not the same.

SOME ISSUES COVERED

• "Daddy issues" and "Mommy issues" are tackled from the male and female perspective. 
• Abandonment issues are addressed from the perspective of a young father.
• Loyalty, faithfulness, and trust are examined in friendships and romantic relationships.
• Forgiveness and redemption come in the context of what some might deem the ultimate sin: Taking someone's life.
• Secrets, Lies, and Transparency are on the table as key components of unhealthy and healthy relationships. 

SOME QUESTIONS ADDRESSED

• How can a person leave relationships so easily?
• Why do people struggle with commitment?
• What makes some people want to cheat? 
• Can a broken parent-child relationship be fixed?
• Do men ever express their feelings?
• What impact does not having a parent have on you parenting your child?
• What is friendship? Are male-female friendships different than male-male or female-female?
• Is forgiveness possible?

This is a three hundred and some odd pages book. These issues are tackled throughout... and tagged as YBBG LESSONS. The anecdotes included throughout the first half will keep you entertained...making it an easy read. The conversations at the end may at least get you to think about men in a different more open way. 

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