For him, it's a date....for her, it's a free meal

Is this going to be a date, or does she just want a free meal?
Photo from MorgueFile.com

What I'm about to tell you...you're not going to want to hear...

Look... I'm not perfect, nor do I attempt to be.

I have done some things that may cause you to look at me differently.

THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS...

Ha! Took you back to Usher didn't I?

Anyway...I know I've blogged about dating and money this week...now I want to get into the other side of the game...

The thing a lot of guys are disturbed by.  It causes them to cringe. It makes them make you go dutch...

THE FREE MEAL DATE EXPERIENCE!!!

I don't know many grown people who do this, but back in the day...when I was in college at UNC...it was the claim to fame of may a Carolina Girl.

I don't know why, but being a Carolina Girl was some sort of dating status symbol in the Triangle... Guys from other schools would boast about having a "Carolina Girl", like it was some type of trophy. And many of my Carolina Girl counterparts would use this to their advantages.

Which brings me to this phenomenon called a "free meal": code language for going out with someone you are not really interested in, just to have a good time and a good meal, where you don't have to come out of pocket.

I know, I know...it seems terrible to do that to another person.  And sometimes it is.  Other times, a person can set him/herself up for the foolishness. 

I will speak from my own experiences, so as not to snitch on other people... (mmmhmmm I see you over there...I know what you did...many summers ha! lol)

I'll confess. I did this all the time in college. I was young, cold,and heartless LOL ...broke...and hungry LOL. Jokes. Seriously I did it...typically it would happen when I did not want to go out with the guy, would tell him so, and he would continue to ask anyway.

  

I had a philosophy... I will tell you "NO" twice...the third time...it's on you! I'm no Minerva McGonagall aka Jessica Sporty, the chick who used Match.com to get $1200.00 in free NY meals each month, but I had my fair share of free meal dates.

Many fellas have fallen victim to this situation. They see a girl they like, or want to flaunt, and ask her out.  She doesn't seem too enthusiastic, but he persists.  She says yes. He takes her out to wine and dine her, and she never speaks to him again.  Or she continues to see him...when she's hungry, bored, lonely...but that's it. 

• So how do you know when you're on a free meal vs a date? 
• She asks you barely anything about yourself
• She spends more time on her phone than engaging you
• She's in a rush to finish the date, because she has stuff to do
• She seems irritated by any and everything you do
• She treats you like a buddy (and not the Musiq kind)
• She suggests the most expensive date
• She flirts with other guys while you're out
• She's sets the tone for EVERY SINGLE interaction, you're on her clock
• She barely talks to you on the phone...or otherwise

Is it wrong to behave this way? YES!! You should never use anyone...but that goes both ways.  And you cannot blame someone else for your stupidity. If a chick is not interested in you, then leave her be. If you're not interested in a guy, don't go the further route of insulting his dignity by playing with his emotions and his money. 

Ladies....be honest...how many of you have ever gone on a "free meal" date? Fellas, how many of you have ever fallen victim to this shenanigan?