You can't be a ho' for a year...and other good daddy to daughter advice
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| Lawrence Fishburne should have said this to his daughter Montana. Photo from: Homeoftheurbanchamelion |
I was talking to a guy the other day about what advice he would give his daughters. He listed three things, but one stood out:
YOU CAN'T BE A HO' FOR A YEAR
I stopped laughing after a few minutes, and then listened as he explained it to me. His point was that there are double standards when it comes to men and women, and how they handle themselves in relationships.
"A man could sleep with four or five women, and he will be considered a ladies' man. Then he can say, 'oh I put that behind me, now I'm a one woman man.' A woman can sleep with four or five dudes, and she gets labeled a ho'...She will forever be the ho' no matter what she does, once she gets that label. She can be a doctor, lawyer, CEO...and somebody somewhere will say 'Oh yeah, she's doing good for herself...but she was a ho' back in the day.' So I'm going to tell my daughters you can't be a ho' for a year, it will follow you throughout life."
Is that right or fair? Eh...probably not... But! Daddies are there to protect their children from the calamities of life as best they can. Daddies are the gatekeepers for the lives of their children, keep out foolishness, danger, and stupidity.
When I was in high school, I came home late from prom...And I promise you it was not my fault, but that's a long story...that I won't get into, because my mama reads my blog LOL. I seriously was not doing anything, but riding around in a car lost.
Well...I got home that morning and my daddy drove back from work to go off on me. I mean I was shook like jook. He gave me the "Ain't nothing open that late at night but legs, hospitals, and police stations" speech... (Daddy...I just want you to know...none of that was true for me that night... lol).
I was so scared of my parents being disappointed in me that I seriously did barely anything to get in trouble...(They may remember my childhood differently...but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
That fear of disappointment means I had someone there to potentially be disappointed in me. Which means they had expectations for my life. Which means they cared about how I would turn out. Isn't that what parents are there for...to guide you into adulthood?
Something else my pop always said to me was: "I can't ain't ever done nothing"... So you basically had to believe you could do anything and see it manifest.
My pop didn't really talk to me a lot about boys...other than there are none allowed until you get your life together, achieve your dreams, and finish every bit of school you ever want to go through. After that was done, he just told me, "I know you will make the right decisions, so I'm not worried about you."
What advice did your dad give you about relationships? If you're a dad, what advice would you give your daughters?
When I was in high school, I came home late from prom...And I promise you it was not my fault, but that's a long story...that I won't get into, because my mama reads my blog LOL. I seriously was not doing anything, but riding around in a car lost.
Well...I got home that morning and my daddy drove back from work to go off on me. I mean I was shook like jook. He gave me the "Ain't nothing open that late at night but legs, hospitals, and police stations" speech... (Daddy...I just want you to know...none of that was true for me that night... lol).
I was so scared of my parents being disappointed in me that I seriously did barely anything to get in trouble...(They may remember my childhood differently...but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.)
That fear of disappointment means I had someone there to potentially be disappointed in me. Which means they had expectations for my life. Which means they cared about how I would turn out. Isn't that what parents are there for...to guide you into adulthood?
Something else my pop always said to me was: "I can't ain't ever done nothing"... So you basically had to believe you could do anything and see it manifest.
My pop didn't really talk to me a lot about boys...other than there are none allowed until you get your life together, achieve your dreams, and finish every bit of school you ever want to go through. After that was done, he just told me, "I know you will make the right decisions, so I'm not worried about you."
What advice did your dad give you about relationships? If you're a dad, what advice would you give your daughters?
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