If it is dutch, it is not a date
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| Talking about money is a death trap when it comes to relationships... Photo from MorgueFile.com |
One of my pals posed a question over the holiday break. It is a question that continuously pops up in the dating world. IT'S Dangerous! One that tends to get some people riled up...and that spurs some serious debate...as any topic about money always seems to...
Question: Do people still "go dutch" after reaching a certain age? Maybe I'm missin something 'cuz I don't get the point. Please speak on it, folks.-- A.B.
SOME RESPONSES:
From a lady:
I still do. The first date is usually handled by him. After that I'll offer to pay the whole thing or to go dutch whenever the check comes. Some men will not ever let me pay, others don't mind going dutch and still a few will allow me to pay every once in a while, but I feel obliged to pay for the whole thing if I am the one who initiated the outing/date. I think it's kind of unfair/rude for one person to ALWAYS have to pay.
From a gent:
99.999 percent of the time, men should take care of the bill regardless of who initiated the request for lunch, dinner, movies, drinks, etc. Most men were taught that way and embrace that responsibility without thinking twice. Some women take advantage, abuse it, and/or do not appreciate it. Sounds like going "dutch" makes things more complicated than it should be.
From the question poser:
My thing is what's the point? If I'm payin for me and you payin for you, why are we even out together. Hell, I can go out myself and pay. To me that's high school and college ish when folks is broke!
How the debate broke out elsewhere:
Is it really a date if you go dutch?
- JH: Yes its a date20 hours ago via mobile ·
- SS: Yes14 hours ago via mobile ·
- TG: Nope!13 hours ago via mobile ·
- AG: It's a date if we're spending time together with the intention of getting to know each other better, even if NO money is spent. I love a good walk around the lake and some conversation.11 hours ago via mobile ·
- CM: LOL AH
- CM: What's with all the ???? marks, JC? LOL
- KP: I agree with Brian ppl set all these standards and end up single instead of enjoying time with a good person. Now if they always have their hand out nor willing to pay for u after dating awhile they might be broke.about an hour ago via mobile ·
- CM: Her question wasn't about the quantity of money spent, it was about who was spending the money, BG.
- CM: I didn't pose the question. One of our classmates did. Everyone in here knows my requirements for dates... And also know that I could care less about how any one in here or elsewhere feels about it, JC.
- TG: Culture and cooth, JC. The assumption is that at this age every one should have "home training". This suggests that your parents should have been beat or preached certain cultural ideals to you by now. Also, remember how important the dances and proms were at school? Those events occurred to teach us how to date...supposedly. I promise this works, if you treat a woman like a lady she will treat you like and respect you as a man. So, open those doors, have table manners, keep up with your hygiene, all of these important skills will help you attract the opposite sex. CULTURE AND COOTH!
- BG: Khan, if it's a date ONLY when I pay for her, it's not a date; it's doing business with an escort. Honey for money.21 minutes ago via mobile ·
- BG: BINGO, Jay C! I think it was one of my fav members Amber that said some women have new millineum expectations of themselves but 1950's expectations of men.18 minutes ago via mobile ·
For what it's worth, what are your thoughts? If you go dutch, are you just hanging out or is it a date? Does it matter who pays? Should men bear the financial burden of dating?
Comments
Miss Daja
-No Boiz Allowed