Boyfriend-Girlfriend relationships are 'the test-drive for matrimony'

You didn't think I would just leave the topic with the final statement in the last blog post did you? There's always an opposing view that should also garner some attention. I like to give both sides of  a discussion because no two people think exactly alike. Nor is every viewpoint the only way to address an issue.

Some people fervently believe that boyfriend-girlfriend relationships are the only way to show your ability to commit, to be faithful, to support and address insecurities another might have. Here's a response I received from my question on the importance of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships:

That relationship is what I call the "test drive of matrimony its what you have to do before you make a commitment you have to know if your a good fit will this endeavor drain your wallet in expenses and in some cases despite bad reviews from other will you still take a chance....#verynecessary
Typically when your in the BF/GF stage you are generally in it with the intensions of becoming more i.e. marriage, committed relationship,etc the things you generally will see in a long term relationship like how will the relationship/marriage when life happens (health issues,money problems etc..)and
How will all these things. Correspond when your help mate doesn't come thru when you really need them I believe you can get a sense of these things early in that stage.

That was the calm response. The other responses I received were a little heated like:

"You're just afraid of commitment and refuse to open your heart to anybody."

My response: Isn't marriage the ultimate commitment? I believe in marriage. So because I don't believe girlfriend-boyfriend relationships are real commitments that means I'm afraid of commitment? I can admit there was a time when I was afraid of commitment, but this isn't it.

"No guy will trust a woman who cannot commit to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship." 

 My response: So trust has nothing to do with the character of the person? It's all about the person doing what you want her to do? Besides...I didn't say I won't do it. I said I think it's silly. If you cannot  figure out that I'm a dope chick through my character...well...I don't know what to say...

"You just want to keep playing and have your cake and eat it too."

My response: What if it has absolutely nothing to do with that? What if it is just about efficiency? Not trying to have more than enough, but finding the right fit? Many people do this and are dishonest about it. I'm not going to cheat. I  have never cheated on  a boyfriend. Why is honesty frowned upon?

 "How can you find the 'right fit' when you're not giving enough attention to anybody? You aren't giving 100 to that person who could be the right fit. You can never say you gave something your all because you really don't."

My response: Is it about quantity or quality? You can pour a 100% of crap into one person and it's  about nothing...lol... And you're right...I can never say I gave 100% of my all to a "boyfriend" because it just makes no sense to me to do so. This isn't a husband...we're talking about...it's a "boyfriend"...you want to talk about "boyfriends"...not even a husband...but a boyfriend...a boyfriend? (in my Allen Iverson voice)

"You just can't grow up. You still just want to date around like that's something to do at this age. You're going to get to your forties doing the same thing. Meanwhile everybody else we know has moved on."

My response: What does what everyone else is doing have to do with me? Many of the people we  know have done a lot of things I would not do. But I don't judge their lives by mine. Why judge my life by theirs?

"What dude is going to put up with this? You think doing this is going to get you a ring? I promise you no dude is going to want to marry someone who is seeing other people... I mean how does that look? He's out with his boys and they ask about you and he's like... 'Yeah...she's out on a date with another dude right now..." Maaaaan come on dog!"

My response: (in my Ginuwine voice) It ain't none of his friends business what goes on in our situation...So if he's okay with it...why bring it up to them? If we're just seeing each other...what business is it of theirs? So what we do should be dictated by how his friends feel about it? Oh...okay.

"The way you think is just selfish. That's the real deal. You only think about yourself."

 My response: I agree it is a bit selfish. Sharing your life with someone else involves a lot of sacrifice...right? Sooo why not be selfish in deciding who you want to sacrifice for? It's better to be selfish now...than later. But that's just me...


That's a real life convo I had with my good dear brother-friend. Who is one of many who had something real to say about my viewpoint of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. So what do you think? Is he right? Are you #TEAMBROTHERFRIEND or #TEAMYBBG?

LOL

 

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