Women are not victims in relationships

This is supposed to be
empowering for women?

My friends will tell you, I tend to side with the guy's perspective when it comes to relationships. So take this however you will...but.. I am tired of these mopey dopey memes that I see all over social media that make women seem like helpless victims. 

Maybe I just don't get it...that could be it. I cannot see this side of things. I don't see people as victims in relationships. I personally feel like you choose who you want to be with and if you choose to be with someone who is no count...well...that's on you. Begging someone to treat you right is just dumb to me. (I feel the same way about those dumb nerd vs thug memes... get over it.)

Take the meme at the top for instance: 

PAY ATTENTION TO HER- Yep. That's good. You should be paid attention to, and you should pay attention to him. You both need to be attentive and attended to...so I agree. 

WHEN A WOMAN IS TRIPPIN' SHE CARES- Now how pray tell does caring and trippin' go hand in hand? When you care, you show that you care through positive means, not by acting a fool. Children throw tantrums and "trip". Mature people talk about issues and seek a common solution. 

WHEN A WOMAN IS MAD SHE BELIEVED IN YOU AND YOU LET HER DOWN- Okay...first of all this is where a lot of the issues come in. Folks believing in people they don't even know. If you know someone, you know what to expect. So how can you be let down? And getting mad over it will not solve anything. Being disappointed? Cool. Mad? Not so much. If you do not express what your desires are and see how they coexist with his desires...not him doing whatever you like how you like, but both of you desiring the same things, you will always be let down. Expectations are a fool! 

WHEN SHE'S ASKING QUESTIONS, SHE'S TRYING TO GAIN CLARITY- Let me be real, sometimes women are just not paying attention and the questions are seen from men as nagging. A guy will say something to a woman and mean it, then the questions about why, who, how, and the like will come. If he already told you what it is... Then that's what it is. Your wanting him to change the way he feels isn't gaining clarity, it's wanting to know why he won't do what you want him to do how you want him to do it. All those clarity questions should be done BEFORE you get involved with him. 

WHEN SHE'S QUIET AND LETTING THINGS "SLIDE", SHE'S GIVING UP- Giving up on what exactly? If you cannot communicate with another person in a fruitful manner. Why are you with him? Seems like there's nothing to give up on if you cannot get along from the get go. Is this a warning shot? Because honestly, if you're quiet, he's probably happy you're not nagging him anymore. And if you do not say something about how you feel...he will assume (wrongly) that nothing is wrong. You have to be precise and concise with what you find are issues in your relationship. Otherwise, dude will just go on like nothing is wrong because he really believes NOTHING is wrong. (Or it just makes it easier for him to go on pretending nothing is wrong... a closed mouth don't get fed...but a whiny one won't either...)

AND WHEN SHE'S NOT DOING ANY OF THE ABOVE, JUST KNOW YOU'VE LOST A GOOD WOMAN- This right here is a dumb lie. What makes you a good woman when you're whiny, nagging, mad, pouty, and trippin'? That sounds like someone no one wants to be around. What have you done to qualify as HIS version of a good woman? All of this makes it seem like you're a whiny brat who does not know how to effectively communicate. 

Now, this next one is actually what set me off... I rolled my eyes so hard that I think I'm now cockeyed. 

This sounds like it was written by a 15 year old girl.

EVERY WOMAN DESERVES A MAN WHO CALLS HER "BABY"- There is not much on this planet that everyone "deserves"when it comes to dealing with other people outside of respect and to be left alone. You are not entitled to a good relationship especially, when you do not know how to be a good mate yourself. Good relationships, like good paychecks, are earned. Both people have to work at it to make it a desirable one.

KISSES LIKE HE MEANS IT- If he isn't kissing you like he wants to kiss you...why are you kissing him? (Ugh...again I blame these dumb fairy tales...chick you are not a princess...)

HOLDS HER LIKE HE NEVER WANTS TO LET GO- I understand the romance and all of that...but c'mon... Can you all just have a healthy relationship and let that be the focus vs being all caught up in romantic-comedy mode all the time? Romance is beautiful...but it cannot be your ENTIRE relationship.

DOESN'T CHEAT OR LIE- I'm going to say this once and for all... EVERYBODY LIES. I don't care if you're lying on your taxes, or lying to the officer who pulls you over about your speed. Now if you want the truth, you need to know how to accept it and choose someone who will give it to you. And why is everyone always so concerned with being cheated on? I know...it hurts...but if you focus so much on trying to stop it from happening, at what point will you actually enjoy the relationship? 

WIPES HER TEARS WHEN SHE CRIES- This is sweet. But please don't cry all the time. Get yourself together. Not everyone wants to be on an emotional roller coaster with you. Yes, everyone WANTS someone who will show her/him compassion and should CHOOSE a mate who does. If you CHOSE someone who is nothing like this and unwilling to be this way...YOU have no one to blame but yourself. 

DOESN'T MAKE HER JEALOUS, AND INSTEAD MAKES OTHER WOMEN JEALOUS OF HER- What the hades?! Why are you so concerned with outside forces? If you are in YOUR relationship. BE IN YOUR relationship. No one MAKES you jealous...you are jealous because that's WHO YOU ARE. And who is playing these silly games as adults? I think a child wrote this. 

ISN'T SCARED TO LET HIS FRIENDS KNOW HOW HE REALLY FEELS ABOUT HER

AND LETS HER KNOW HOW MUCH HE REALLY FEELS ABOUT HER- Do grown people really go through this foolishness? If so, it is sad. Why are you with someone who still acts like a child? If he is not proud of having you by his side...ummm that's crazy. Why are you with him? If you're a secret, y'all ain't together. 

If a man cannot express himself, that is something he needs to work on. Certainly some people struggle with expressing themselves, but that is something you grow to do and make each other better at. If he is UNWILLING to do those things necessary to have a vibrant relationship...why do YOU CHOOSE to stay? 

My point is this: YOU HAVE OPTIONS. You do not have to choose to be with a person who treats you poorly. YOU have to own the decisions you make. Something you can learn from men is: What one person won't do, another one will. Now...that is not something that should be used as a threat to get what you want. (Which is how too many foolish men use it...) But as a notice to yourself that if you want better, you have to do the work to find better. You can have it if you choose properly and act accordingly.

In other words... stop being a victim of your relationships, and be an active participant. Make decisions. Stand firm in your decisions. Be good to the person and require the person be good to you. Otherwise, find something else to do with your time. Like working on your self esteem...

THE MALE PERSPECTIVE:

I may ruffle some feathers with my comments.......but here goes: I think "some" women embrace the victim role. It is always the man's fault if and when something goes wrong. Somebody has always done them wrong. You'll hardly ever hear a woman say "It was my fault", "I'm sorry", etc. You'll hardly ever hear a woman take ownership or accountability for a relationship that does not work out. Fingers are always pointed elsewhere. So of course women love these type of messages, and repost this nonsense over and over again. You'll never see anything like this for men. Every woman was a victim if you'll let them tell it.Key emphasis on when I said earlier "some women"

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