When you can't be friends...

Today I started thinking about heartbreak.  My worst heartbreak was several years ago and it took me a long time to get over it.  One of my homeboys was like, "Suck it up!!!" (you know who you are...).  But when he realized it was the love of my life, he was a lot more understsanding (At the time it seemed like he was the love of my life and all...I mean that's the way it seemed...I now realize I haven't met him yet. If I had...we'd still be together LOL) .

So when I had to break the news to one of my friends from college that he and I were finally over. She said "WOW! I just knew y'all would get married..." Gee thanks! *side-eye* Clearly that didn't make the situation better. THAT was not what I needed at the time. *sigh*

That's another thing that guys are good for...being blunt and insensitive when you need to get shaken out of your blues. Instead of reminding you how bad it sucks and sending you deeper into depression like your homegirls may do...though innocently LOL

Anyway...I usually have no problem being friends when things don't work out with me and a guy I've dated.  But when you've loved someone so deeply that being friends hurts more than hating each other...you just have to go cold turkey.  Right?

Do you all remember this video with R.L. from Next and Deborah Cox?  Ever felt this way?



I'm over it now. It took some mending, some healing, some rebound dating, prayer and supplication and meditation and yoga and...well you get the picture! LOL

How do you get over break ups? And are you able to be friends with exes?

Comments

~Meik said…
it has taken me a long time to get over my ex..we tried to be friends, but I realized he hadn't changed and it just wasn't even gonna work cuz I could no longer put forth the energy for his bs even on a friend level. My healing came from blogging, praying, and cursing him out on paper LOL.
Kenji McCluney said…
Personally, I have been friends with all exes. Ex-girlfriends and ex-lovers!! The thing as a man is to remember a key phrase, whether it is true or not. You're right, I'm wrong. When dealing with a mature woman, this is not necessary; but honestly, how many of us always make good choices? But as well as my playbook is drafted, my personal execution is flawed. There is ONE! This woman plagues my relationships. I, from what I'm told, have been comparing every woman I get involved with to her. Sometimes reasons not to even deal with them. I'm friends with her, because I still love her and don't want to see her get hurt or used. I want to be her hero! So in a nutshell, the answer is no!! Not without some type of motive whether it be for good or evil. For the sex, the money, the social circle their connected to, the appearance, the actual insight on you like a unlicensed shrink.
CM said…
I read your recent post! Going through that "cleansing" is much needed!

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