#19 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend

Photo from themantruth.com

Today's Guy:  JC

How long I've known him:  Since my freshman year in college, but he claims he doesn't remember me from then...mmmhmmm lol

Topic:  Going dutch on a first date.  Or a guy being unwilling to pay for a date period LOL...

So JC and I bumped heads awhile ago on a mutual pal's fb status.  And when it dawned on me that we had gone to college together, I told him.  He couldn't remember...lol.  Anyway...fast forward and here comes another fb status debate... I can't honestly remember what the initial status was.  However it led to discussion of paying for dates and who will or won't pay.  Boy he and I went back and forth...and this conversation is a snippet of it.



Me:  I'm not knocking your feelings on going dutch. I understand. I just don't accept that in my dating life LOL. Will you email me a synopsis of your feelings on going dutch so that I can post it to "What he said" in my blog? I won't change anything in it. I'm just letting guys express themselves. You can be anonymous if you like.


JC:  Lol. Yeh.. I know diffrent strokes for different folks. But I continue to question women on some of the things "they hold dear" if it PREVENTS them from getting what they want. MEN of means and options...don't like dealing with women that feel ENTITLED to things. So it goes a long way with men now...if women are willing to contribute their fair share. But for the women that are UNWILLING to contribute... then I hope they meet a man that lives up to their standards..by exhibiting that mentatility. #goodlucklivinginadreamworld .

Me: How is it a dream world? LOL. 99% of the guys I meet pay. No questions asked. I have only been out with one guy who didn't. Needless to say we became friends. LOL. Nothing more. I don't require fine dinging or even being wined and dined. But my requirement is to be treated.  I expect to be courted. And I am. LOL. I see nothing wrong with it. I don't understand this other thing LOL .

JC:  Like I said different strokes for different folks. Let me filip it on you. suppose you went out with a guy that expected you to pay because 99% of the women he had been out with PAID FOR HIM??? Oh and to me thats just it your REQUIREMENT is to be treated??? Why is that a requirement. I'm dead serious... I'm not picking or playing. I want to know why is that a REQUIREMENT of yours?? .

Oh my bad the blog thing.... yeh I can hook it up. .

Me:  haha. If I met a guy who had that requirement I would know he wasn't the dude for me. LOL. It's a requirement because I expect a man to take his place as the head of the household. I also know that if a man cares more about me than he does his money then I have something to work with. If money is his highest interest then I see problems in our future. I don't try to break the bank. Fiscally I'm a "cheap" date. I just like to have fun. So it isn't how much he spends, but how he spends it that matters to me. But I see it as an example of how he will or won't treat me. .

JC:  Ok cool thanks for explaining. Seriously.. for real. At this point I'm just going to say that. I just disagree with you. I'm a fiscally responsible person for the most part. I don't see how a man paying for ANOTHER PERSON"S meal (for example) proves that. Actually, an argument could be made that it could actually prove the opposite........if a person is willy/nilly about spending there money and throwing it around at other people. It's not about the actual MONEY.

It's about the woman's mentallity for me. If I'm out and meet a woman. I don't know her MIDDLE NAME. I don't think she should be entitled to anything in my wallet.........just like I DONT" THINK IM entitilted to anyting between her legs (really sex isn't that serious..but just an example).

It's simply just getting to know someone. But I know really the deep hearted root of the matter stems from the EQUITABLE INVESTMENT part. In "some" women's minds... why not let a MAN PAY FOR EVERYTHING UPFRONT if you can get away with it? Shoot YOu DON"T EVEN KNOW THE GUY???Right?? why pay your HARD EARNED money...if he is going to do it??Right.

Then if any man ever QUESTIONS it...... start by saying that your OLD FASTIONED (but only in this one way) If that fails then say "All the MEN I HAVE BEEN OUT WITH PAY" if th doesn' work hen attack his manhood "REAL MEN PAY FOR WOMEN THEY DON"T KNOW" If that fails to work do delve deeper into "Paying for women that you don't KNOW shows that you are a PROVIDER..huh?" .

JC:  lol lol I've been throught these "dsicussions" several times before....and heard almost every response.

ME: To me? Yes. LOL. And I haven't changed my stance on it, and won't. I am traditional in my views on love, dating and relationships. I'm celibate so sex is out of the question anyway. If that's not cool with the dude, he's welcome to choose someone else. LOL. Why is it such a big deal? If you meet a woman who you are into what's the big deal with picking up the tab at Dave and Busters? Or Applebees?

 I'm telling you how I view it. That's all I can go on. Some women don't feel the same way I do. I don't see paying for a date as an open exchange for sex. That's prostitution. LOL. I see it as a man courting me. If you don't want to court a woman, choose a woman who doesn't want to be courted. Or a woman who doesn't view the guy paying for the date as courting. Again... what's the big deal? And I said it is an example of how he would provide. If he's hung up on the money thing, then that tells me he may value his money over me. No-Go. LOL .

JC:  Lol. we straight. we just disagree that is all. Fortunately I'm a MAN and get to CHOOSE what women I APPROACH....which gives me great flexiblity. As opposed to most women (who don't ask men out) that are limited to only accepting/not accepting the advances of the pool of men that APPROACH THEM. Oh, and sex isn't a big deal to me like that. I'm NOT CELIBATE by any stretch... by I don't expect/demand expect it from a woman I don't know...and asked to share an evening with...lol. .

Me:  lol yes most women only deal with men who approach them. But women who understand how to do it, can get men they are interested in to approach them. Man...we always disagree! LOL .

JC:   Sure. I agree with that statment to a point. But ... then obviously most women can't seem to get the TYPES OF MEN THEY DESIRE TO APPROACH them....as opposed to all the NEVER MARRIED women...and all the women that compalin they can't find the man they desire...right??lol. Where as me on the other hand. If i decided that I only wanted to date Red Headed wome(just a random example) I could go out tomorrow to the MALL and approach every REd head woman. Even if I only 1 out of 20 Red Headed women I approached that day.....was "interested". I still accomplished my goal. Most women don't have the same luxury... of CHOICE .

Me:  But you're also unmarried right? So with all of these great abilities and opportunities...why haven't you married? LOL .

JC:  Timing. I have dated some VERY GOOD women. NO lie. But timing has been off. PLus I'm hard MAN to deal with.... would take a special woman...lol .

Me:  Or you could stop being a hard man to deal with and be a man who works cooperatively with someone. LOL. Have you ever thought that maybe some women are in the same boat? Have met great men but just weren't in the right space/place/time to make it happen? .

JC:  Absolutely !! Timing is crucial for both men and women..alike. You can MEET the right person at the WRONG TIME. .

Me:  but why are you so hard to deal with? What in your heart/spirit keeps you from being more amiable? .

JC:   Oh.......and I do work cooperatively with women whom I choose to spend time with. Because the Cooperate with me..hence the word cooperation..lol. .

I have expecations of the women that I deal with(no not sexual) most of the time.........women aren't used to dealing with a man that has expecations of them BEYOND just SEX...lol. .

Me:   Ooooor.. you could be choosing women who aren't used to men having expectations... lol. So it isn't all women. But the women you choose.