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Funny stuff that only happens to me...


photo from pinknpurplelizard.com

Today was an interesting day. I got up before the buttcrack of dawn to volunteer feeding 140 people breakfast at the local Rescue Mission. I love doing volunteer work because I genuinely like helping people.

Fearing I'd be late I went to bed early. Subsequently I wake up at midnight, 2 am, and 4 am. LOL. So basically I didn't really sleep.

The day before we had to go through an orientation. It was supposed to last 30 minutes...but just my luck I got the dang female version of Ben Stein's character in Ferris Beuller's Day Off.

We're supposed to prepare breakfast. I had no idea I would have to learn what the twelve steps are for substance abuse. I'd never known them. But they sound like some type of indoctrination into a cult. (I'm just sayin...Jesus said come drink freely from the fountain...I knew nothing of Him forcing someone to gargle and bathe in it...*shrugs* But who am I to judge...different things work for different people...)

Then she took us all around the facility in the crooks and crevices. And had us standing in the cold rain for quite some time. Needless to say I wasn't feeling it. But it was worth it this morning. The residents at the facility were very appreciative. And the first shift of my group got down with the get down on the food! :)

Now the funny thing that happened today was a phone call...NEVER EVER answer a private number. There is never anything good on the other end. Either someone is crazy on the other end or trying to spy on you through the phone.. (I mean who blocks their number these days?)


Anyway...I broke my rule and answered. There was a kid on the other end speaking gibberish. Then an adult woman gets on the phone. And it went left...

Me: who is this?

Lady: Your mother! (now okay...is someone trying to pull an April Fool's joke on me? hardy har har..)


Me: No ma'am, I think you have the wrong number.

Lady:  (getting angry) I AM YOUR MOTHER.

Me: No you're not my mother. I'm sorry ma'am I believe you have the wrong number.

Lady: I AM YOUR MOTHER! You would think I'd know the right number.

Me: No ma'am, you're not my mother. And you have dialed the wrong number.

Lady: I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!

(Did someone lie to me. All this time I thought I was Black...but I somehow have a White mother? Ummm...I don't think so... lol)

Me: ummm no...no you're not.

Lady: I AM YOUR MOTHER!! (now she's pissed)

Me: Ma'am.  You are NOT my mother.  AND you HAVE The wrong number.

(so finally the light bulb goes off and it registers with her that she is not my mother...)

Lady:  Oops my bad! Sorry!

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