BET's The Game Season 5 Episode 5
Chardonnay and Jason at the theater. Chardonnay says she has her own food. Jason has his own too...potato skins with sour cream in his underwear. Chardonnay starts yelling at the screen,saying she hates when movies start out with a footrace. One of the patrons shh'shes her. Chardonnay tells the patron not to shhh her because they paid for their tickets. Jason is giddy about it and started yelling at the screen too. He then tells her he likes her. He likes hanging out with her...even though she still has a ridiculous name. Jason says after the annulment he thinks maybe they should continue seeing each other. Chardonnay says she doesn't think so. They agreed that after the annulment they would both go their separate ways. Chardonnay says "Your ghetto fantasy is over at the stroke of midnight. So you best to get it in."
*COMMERCIAL*
Malik shows up at the tv station where Jason works and then Derwin comes in yelling for Jason. Then Jason comes in and says hey guys. They asked Jason if he staged this whole thing to get them to kill their beef. He says I did this to save gas, y'all beefin'? Jason then tells them the story of how he got married to Chardonnay. They just walk off. Then he says a black woman. They say whoaaaa...come back and say they have to hear this. So they ask him to explain how black. Malik says "Like Camille black?" He says naaahhh blacker. Derwin says "Like my wife, black?" He says nooo...blacker. Malik says "Like my mama, black?!" He says yes! Then Jason tells him how he wants to keep her and can't get her out of his mind.
Derwin and Mel. They just finished up a session of baby making. And Mel said she's sorry but she had to stay on top of her ovulation cycle. Derwin says to hurry up because they are going to be late for church. She says she got the pastor to hold up service. Derwin said he was ready to get back to church because he doesn't get to go much during the season. Then he asked Mel how she got the pastor to hold up service, she said she text him. He said and he agreed. She said she got a new pastor. HE asked if she got the old one fired...she said no...a new church. He gave her the side-eye. She says, look Derwin, it is a new church, not a new God. Then she goes into how she changed for Derwin, got knew clothes, goes to church and even signs her name with John 3:16 at the end.
They go into this mega church, where Mel knows all the folks. The mayor is there and he says that Mel and Derwin are the star couple. Derwin says...oh it's an election year, huh? He says yeah. Derwin says, good luck with that. LOL. Mel tells him he has their vote. Then they continue down the aisle and Mel is waiving and speaking to folks. They go to the VIP section at the church (What in the world?!)...and sit beside DeRay. She asks DeRay to quote a line from his last movie. He said no...this is not the place...and basically tells Mel to shut up. Then she quotes a line. He asks Mel if she got the pastor to hold up service again, because he has somewhere to go. She says, Do you DeRay??? DOoooo You? LOL. Then Derwin says, wait I never sat in the VIP section at church before. Mel says it's great. Then she nods at the pastor...Derwin said did you just nod at the pastor? She says yes. Then the praise dance team starts, and Mel said these are the perks of sitting in VIP they can actually see the dancers faces.
*COMMERCIAL*
Mel and Derwin back at the house. Mel says he hasn't said a word since church. He said he doesn't know about the new church...he wasn't sure about the special treatment they received at the church including the nod and kiss the pastor gave them, the scalp massage from the usher...but he could really dig the car detailing. Derwin says he wants to go back to a normal church. Mel says no!! We're VIP at the church, and we pay good money for that! And Derwin says, how much money... Mel shows him the checkbook. In the check memo line it says to make her a baby. Derwin says Mel, God doesn't work like that...you can't buy your wishes. She said it worked last week, look at the memo line. It says lose 5 lbs...huh huh (as she shows off...). Mel says well I want to stay...besides you have a game next week. Derwin says, it is on Monday. So we either sit in the back or go back to our old church.
Jason is on air. He says he wanted to send a special shout out to a special woman in his life. When he drinks white wine he thinks of her and asks if they can just start over again. He's standing with Chardonnay in the bar as they watch. Chardonnay says if she were 22 it would be cool, but she's 32 and too old for that. Jason says what??? You're 32??? Melanin is natures little anti aging serum...Chardonnay laughs at him and says he's crazy...she doesn't even know how he feels about having a family, living together and getting serious. Heck she doesn't even know if he wants, kids...she sees how he talks about the one he already has. He says, fine...You think you're the only Black woman in San Diego? I can find another one...
Then Jason is back at the movies with another chocolate sister. He says so what's your name? She says Jennifer. He says how do you spell that with a G? She says no? He says how about with an FAH at the end Jennifaaaaaah. She says no, just the regular way. Then he asks her if she wants some junior mints, and that he snuck in some bbg ribs too. She says no...could you put that away. He says what, you don't like ribs? She's like nooo...because it is against the rules and it could get us kicked out of here. Then Jason starts yelling at the screen...she asks him to be quiet. He says, why? We can do this, we be black (or something like that). She asks him if he could stop doing that. Then she gets up and walks out. An usher comes over and busts Jason.
*COMMERCIAL*
Jason shows up on Tasha Mack's door...she's in a scarf and has a glass in her hand. Jason says look at you all black and beautiful...What is that...hennesy? She says yeah...Jason says he needs Tasha to explain Black women to him. He's been out with three this week and no luck. Well it is really about one Black woman, Chardonnay... Tasha says, "Chardonnay??? Malik almost married her...uhn...she must got something special." He says, no not that Chardonnay...mine is dark skinned. He says he cannot understand why the woman doesn't want to be with him. Tasha says let me tell you the plight of the black woman...See the Black woman is so desperate to be with a good black man...that she does all she can to find one...prays for him and then when she gets the no good negro, she puts up with all his mess. LOL Then after going through what Black women will do for a good man..she tells Jason to read Steve Harvey's book. (now this was funny in a foolish way). Tasha says Steve is not just a comedian/dj/actor/game show host/entertainer...he's also a prophet! Jason's like, I"m not reading that mess. Tasha says I bet your Chardonnay is reading it.
Derwin and Mel are back at church sitting in the back, and this dude says "DERWIN DAVIS??? What are you lost or something"... Then he asks Derwin for an autograph...he says...what you want me to sign the Bible...he says naaah... Then Derwin asks Mel what verse they were reading from...she says she doesn't know, she cannot hear from all the way back there. He asks the guy next to him if he knew the passage. He said, he wasn't even paying attention to dude because he had so much on his mind. Derwin says oh really? Then the guy asks him if he could let him hold something... his cellie is down and he needs 100 dollars to pay it. Derwin says he doesn't have it. Guy says, I know you have it, I can tell by that nice purse your wife has. Derwin says hey...don't worry about what my wife has! Then the pastor asks for a praise moment (testimony service). And older lady stands up (the big mama from Soul food). She says she's going through hard times. She lost her job when her daughter got sick, had to sell her car and her jewelry...She asks the church to pray for her. It stuns Mel and Derwin...dude next to Derwin, taps him and is basically telling him he needs to help out. The older woman sits down and almost sits on Mel's expensive purse, she says I'm sorry...and Mel says it is okay.
Jason and Chardonnay. Jason tells Chardonnay that he really cares about her...She asks if he really cared about her...why did he go out with three of her friends this week. He says it was just to try to get over her. She's like no..my BS radar is going off with you and I'm tired of your ego. He said he'll turn off his ego, but if she had brought the city a champio...she'd have an ego too... Then she says no! He then says... The PLIGHT! I know about the plight of the black woman... y'all are so desperate for a black man and then you get him and the foolish negro starts tripping and then you pray. She's like WTH? Then he says Steve Harvey! He's a prophet! LOL Chardonnay says...that's it!! My BS radar is off the charts...He says look...I'm sorry...I'm not going to use someone else's words to get what I want... And what I want is you. So please...just give me a chance. We have four weeks until the annulment. Let me prove to you why you should be with me. She says okay...fine. I'm turning my radar off. You have four weeks. He says I only need 3...she says ok..he says wait wait okay four.
Do you think Jason and Chardonnay will last?
