Who is using who?
LOL This is what my pal said he used to say to women who wanted him to buy them drinks at the club. I died laughing. He called today to rant about this alleged epidemic of women running men for their money.
Let's be clear, he is not on the market. He is more like the sage older brother giving wise counsel to the young men and women coming up behind him.
It's funny because this topic is always on the table. Every week I either field a question about this or over hear a similar conversation. What it boils down to is: Who is using who?
Women enter the dating world afraid that men are only out for one thing: SEX.
So they maneuver around the love game trying to protect their hearts while they feel men bargain with them to get into their Vickie's.
Always on guard for the slick player.
Men enter the dating world afraid that women are out to get into their pockets.
So they maneuver around the dating world trying to play keep away with their wallets for the sake of also protecting their hearts... Always on guard for the manipulative gold digger.
What you end up having are two scared people in an un-winnable chess match. No one wants to make an honest move because they don't want the other to "win".
What solves these issues is honesty and good intentions, which MOST people either don't have or don't display.
So what do you do? Well for starters don't go out with people who don't have good intentions toward you...easier said than done, I know.
And even more difficult...don't go out with people for whom you so t have good intentions.
Then be straight up about what you're after, and pay attention to what the other person is after.
I have actually had guys straight up tell me what they're intentions are, an I appreciated it. It was up to me to decide whether I wanted the same things or wanted to expend my time getting them to see things my way.
Either way, the onus was on me I. The end. Conversely, I have told guys my intentions and some have understood whilst others have tried to convince me to see things from their point of view and want what they wanted.
In the latter instances, whose fault was it that they stuck around after I was clear about my intentions?
The only time you can blame the other person is if you're lies to or manipulated. However the longer you stick around to take treatment you don't like, the less that person is to blame.
What do you think? Are too many women out there running and manipulating men for their pocket change? Are too many men out there stringing women along for their goodies?
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