Five things guys do with their girlfriends

Are the girlfriend and best girl friend always in
competition?

While writing this blog, people always pepper me with questions about why I'm not the girlfriend or significant other to some of my guy friends. The number one answer is: We don't see each other "that way". Number two answer: I have my own situation to deal with. Number three answer: WE DON'T SEE EACH OTHER THAT WAY.

There is a hard line between being a guy's best girl friend and being his GIRLFRIEND. Those paths do not intersect. Or at least not in the realm of platonic friendship. (Now becoming your man's best friend is a different story.)

Girlfriend's get special treatment. Girlfriends get the benefit of all the advice given from the best girl friend and the Prince Charming side of the frog.

Here are Five Things Guys Do With Their Girlfriends, but not their best girl friend:

1. Put on their best behavior

He's trying to impress you, not me. So you get the benefit of all of his good side. You get the guy with good hygiene, not the dude who wears the same draws for three days straight and tells you about it. You get the guy who took time to smell good, not the sweaty dude with funky socks.

You get Mr. Manners, not the dude who runs down the list of his gastrointestinal problems to you and asks what you think he should do about it. He treats you like a princess, not his sparring partner.


2. Get romantic

He smothers you with love and affection of the close and intimate kind. You are given flowers hugs, kisses and back rubs. He spends all day thinking of ways to make you smile. His best girl friend is not that chick. They laugh and clown about anything so it takes no effort on his part.

But for you? He will go to extreme lengths to put a smile on your face. You are who he desires to please.

3. Do things he really does not want to do

For you he will spend all day in Ikea searching for the perfect vase to display at your place just because you asked. Your boyfriend will waste time deciding which hairstyle YOU think he should like best on you. He cannot say, "Nah dude, I'll catch you later..." because it comes with consequences. He does not want to give up the intimacy just because he really could not care less what an asymmetrical bob is or what the difference is between mint and aquamarine.

4. Show more of his strength than his weaknesses

He cries to me about you. I see the little boy as much as the man. You see the strong man with miracle muscles and fortitude.  As his girlfriend, you get to see more of the protector side. He is your knight in shining armor.

For you, he will wipe away the tears and arm wrestle a bear just to get you the last bit of honey for your DIY face mask.

5. Potentially give you his last name

The space that his best gal pal has carved out in his heart does not even compare to the one waiting for you. Yes, it may annoy you that we're so close. I understand. However, he's waiting to give someone like you something I will never have: His last name. That's a really big deal, don't you think?

I am not qualified for (nor do I desire) the position of being his better half. That is a spot you're up for, and uniquely qualified to fulfill. So we are not each other's competition. As his friend, I'm waiting for him to give someone his last name as well.

Yes, I have run into a number of women who take issue with men having best female friends. I have also run into situations where women and men have pseudo friendships. A true friendship is just that: FRIENDSHIP. There is no hanky-panky or longing to be together. 

Because some people do not understand that, I can see how some girlfriends can become alarmed by their guy having a female bestie. Yet, when the friendship is real, you have nothing to worry about at all. A good friend to your man will respect your relationship in all ways. 


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