Don't touch my hair!!!

A girl's best friends...a book and the salon.

The do is done, while transitioning out of
relaxing my hair.

 

After the relaxer was gone. 100% natural hair.

This blog serves several purposes. The main goal is to bring about gender understanding :).  I also try to bring about some cultural understanding in the process. I think information is part of the bridge to bring about a closure of the gap.

Let's just say that sometimes we may have some cultural differences.  And this varies from person to person. In the first two pictures above I am rocking the last remnants of the last relaxer I received sometime in 2008.  The last picture is after all the relaxer was cut out of my hair in December of 2009.

I'm not even about to go into relaxers vs naturals and all that jazz. To me, your hair is your hair, do what you want to with it.  What I want to talk about is what happens when you touch a woman's hair. LOL

Now this varies from woman to woman.  But there are a lot of us (with natural AND relaxed hair) who have a "no hair touching" policy.  There are limited times when hair touching is allowed:

• If I know you, and you ask permission, I may allow you to touch my hair.
• When I go to the shop to get a style, you may touch my hair. Hey that's what you're there for. 
• Close family, related by blood, who at some point lived in the same home with me...may touch my hair.
• My man may touch my hair, always, at any time.

For some reason, since I returned to my natural hair...everyone wants to touch it. I'm standing in line at Wal-mart and I feel a little tug on my twists. WHAT?! Did you really just put your hands in my hair?! I DON'T KNOW YOU!!

I'm at work and a coworker rubs my head, exclaiming "Juices and Berries"...if you've seen Coming to America, you know where that came from... Then (and this next coworker, may read this..so it is a point of understanding...lol) just this past couple of weeks...I had a "misunderstanding".



I work in a corporate environment, and counter to what many say, natural hair is VERY accepted in corporate america.  Especially these days.  When I went into work after my "big chop", everyone loved it. One of my coworkers even said I looked more professional and like a "real attorney" LOL. I work Uptown and see a bevvy of natural beauties every day in all types of natural hair.  For those of you who think otherwise, believe me, it may just be you. You know, an internal feeling.
 

Check out this video of reporter, Rochelle Ritchie, who goes natural after years of wearing wigs and weaves.


Anyway...back to the misunderstanding.  One of my coworkers, someone I think is cool and we get along well, did the unthinkable.  She reached up and grabbed a handful of my hair.   Initially...I laughed and said...ummm yeah...I'm going to need you to not do that. (I mean we were at work..and I couldn't get all out of pocket, even though I wanted to.) (Read this on personal space in the work place.)

But then she tried to reach for it again, saying if she had my hair she'd play in it all day. UMMMMMM... WTF?  Ok...well truth be told...I actually do play in my hair all day. But anyway..that's besides the point. It's MINE! lol I was incensed!  WHY oh WHY do you insist on putting your hands in my hair?!!!! I am not a pet or a doll.  And I don't know where your hands have been!!! DON'T DO THAT!!!

Yeah, that's what I was thinking...I was heated!  So I spoke to some other folks about it. Maybe I had overreacted.  One of my friends (who has a brush cut) saw nothing wrong with the violation (I mean, I did feel violated).  She lets whomever touch her head. Aaaacccccckkkkk!!! LOL.  Ok, different strokes for different folks.

Then one of my other coworkers (a relaxed hair rocker), agreed with me.  One of her pet peeves is hair molestation.  And you know the worst time to touch a sista's hair is when she's come directly from the salon.  Do you know what we go through at a salon? How long we toil with bent neck and heavy head? LOL  Then you want to manipulate the style once the do is done?! GET OUTTA HERE! LOL

So the lesson for today is...unless we are so genetically connected that you can donate me a kidney in time of need, don't put your hand anywhere near my head! ESPECIALLY if I tell you: DON'T DO IT!.  Seriously it is like someone touching your face.  Or sticking their finger in your food.  At least TO ME.  My hair, my rules.

The real lesson is, people are different.  Some won't mind you frolicking in their locks.  Others will.  Make sure you know which person you're dealing with.  Just respect people's personal tendencies.  It's great to be different.  And we should embrace others differences.  We should not all be the same.  We each were uniquely and wonderfully made. :)