#13 What he said: A conversation with my guy friend.

T.W. age 26, attorney

Today's Guy:  T.W.
How long I've known him:  About a year.
Today's topic:  Being a young northern transplant, dating in the south.

So T.W. and I work together and we used to have very funny and interesting conversations.  To me he was every bit of a northerner living in a southern city, based on my own stereotypes and preconcceived notions. Beyond that, he's a runner, and one day he told me an interesting story about some older ladies who prey on the younger guys in the running circle.  These women are like the real life versions of Desperate Housewives.  I sat down to talk to T.W. about dating in the south.


Me: You know, it took me a while to decide what I wanted to talk to you about. So I had to think about our interactions and some things we've talked about. You're originally from New York, how do you compare the social scene with being in the South?


TW: It's definitely different. In NY there are a lot more places to go to (obviously) which means that you can have more variety. Maybe its just me, but down here I find myself always going to the same venues.

Me: I've often noticed that northern men tend to be very aggressive. Do you think you fall into that category? If so, why is that?

TW: I disagree, I feel like that is a big southern misconception. While I'm sure there are aggressive northern men, southerners tend to think that once you cross the Mason-Dixon line everyone is completely different and you are now "northern." I've never considered myself to be a northerner until I moved down south, up until then I just considered myself a New Yorker. So while I'm sure there are a lot of aggressive men from up north, I'd bet there are just as many down south.

Me: I actually think you are one of the most flirtatious people I have ever met, but some would say you're just very friendly. Which do you think it is?

TW: Friendly. I like to talk to people. People often mistake me for being flirty but really I just like to socialize and I have absolutely no fear about approaching people. I will talk to anyone as long as they seem interesting.

Me: I remember you telling me about some funny stories about run-ins with some older ladies. The term "cougar" comes to mind. What's your definition of a "cougar"?

TW: A cougar is an older woman (over 35) who is dating/looking to date a younger man.

Me: You're what, 25 or 26? Have you ever actually dated or gone out with a cougar?

TW: No, I've never formally dated a cougar but I've had some interesting encounters with them that make for great stories.

(You'll be able to read some of these stories at another time.)

Me: What difference is there between dating an older woman versus one your age or younger?

TW: Older women tend to be less pushy and less interested in being in a relationship, usually they have already been married and that is the last thing they are looking for.

Me: When viewing dating in general, do you find that people down south are as open minded as people in the north?

TW: Again, I really don't like making this a whole north/south thing. But in general it seems that people are more likely to marry young down here and to take the more traditional route in dating.

Me: At your current stage of life, where do you see your dating life going? Is marriage and family on your radar or do you feel that will come much later in life?

TW: Yikes, no marriage or family anytime soon. I'm just looking to enjoy my free time now. I really am not looking for anything serious. I don't like the idea of being tied down to anyone in particular. I'm sure when the right person comes along that will change, but for now I like the way my life is.

Comments

Popular Posts