Part II: Chilli explains what happened with Bill and why women should have higher standards
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| Chilli and Floyd in a photoshoot from Season 1 of What Chilli Wants |
When I wrote "The trouble with having guy friends" a few weeks ago, I delved into how having male friends sometimes limits my ability or even desire to find a suitable mate. I spoke about how they provide me with almost every thing I would get from a boyfriend (except the romantic part). So it makes me lazy in even attempting to find someone because for the most part, my needs are being met. When we left off in Part I, I asked Chilli if Floyd is her security blanket, or a distraction as Tionna Smalls exclaims on the show.
Chilli: He's neither one. He's not a security blanket, he's not a distraction. He's my friend!
Me: Is there anything else you want to add about the Floyd situation?
Chilli: I guess one thing I would want to address, and it wasn't even a lot of people. Maybe three people I saw on Twitter, referred to me as a possible gold-digger because Floyd bought me those earrings. And I was like "WOW!" It's amazing to me how people see certain things, but they don't see the whole picture.
(you can tweet Chilli at @officialchilli and follow the hashtag #WhatChilliWants on Twitter)
I totally said how, I am, I AM very frugal. But you can't judge a person's pockets. Fourteen thousand dollars to Floyd is like four hundred dollars to someone else. You know if it's an affordable thing, and it's not a big deal, then that's not a big deal to them. So people were just looking at the price, but you have to look at it like, "well that's nothing to him, that's no big deal."
It's not like, oh well, Floyd bought me these earrings, now I'm going to be with him! Not at all!
Me: Like you said, you and he have been friends for over four years. What a lot of people don't understand is, when you have a guy friend who is a gentleman he will do nice things for you, and expect nothing in return. I HATE THAT WORD GOLD-DIGGER! Shoot, a lot of times people tossing it around don't even have any gold to dig!!
(we both crack up laughing)
Well that's that for Floyd. I guess we'll have to see how it plays out in Season II of What Chilli Wants. But there was another guy in Chilli's life from Season I. You must remember when she had to choose between the Agnostic Farmer D, and the funny guy, Bill.
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| Chilli with Bill on a date, Season 1 of What Chilli Wants. |
Me: At the end of last season, you chose Bill. But you all are not together anymore. What in the world was wrong with Bill?! (hahaha)
Chilli: There's nothing wrong with Bill. There just wasn't a connection. It's funny to me that people ask me that, and I'm like "the answer is ..." (laughs) You know there wasn't a connection. There was nothing wrong. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't mean that the person did you wrong, or you did him wrong. You know, you just don't connect with everybody. It's impossible to connect with EVERYbody. No matter how amazing the person is, if there is no connection..that amazing person is for somebody else. Not for you. You know, you have an amazing person that is for you, that you haven't met yet.
Me: Oh lord! I completely feel you!
Chilli: So yeah, so once you know, I figured that out (with Bill) that there was no connection, it made no sense for me to continue to get to know him. When I knew. I was clear.
Me: I think a lot of people hang on and end up hurting the other person.
Chilli: Yes, to me that is HORRIBLE! I think that is the worst thing you could do! Especially once you know. You know when you can't like a person like that. YOU KNOW IT!
Me: Absolutely! I think you should let that person know and keep it moving!
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| Chilli is back for Season 2 of What Chilli Wants, and this time it is about more than just finding love. |
C. Dunston: Do you really think you're going to find love on a reality show?
Chilli: You can find love at the grocery store. You just never know. You just have to be open, you know what I mean? But again, honest. Honest when you meet people. Honest with yourself. Honest about how you feel. And honest with them about how you're feeling or not feeling. Love can come anywhere.
You could be at the gas station and look over at pump number 6 and see somebody, and be like O-kay!!!! Love is all around us, so you don't know where it's going to hit you.
Y. Roberts: Have you reduced your checklist? (also asked what the deal is with Floyd)
Chilli: My list is not going anywhere.
D. Jordan: What does she really want ... In life? That will help her find a man if that is what she is looking for...I would like to hear her answer on that.
Chilli partially answered this in Part I of my interview. She expressed that she doesn't just want to have a man, but the right relationship. More of this question is answered below...
Me: I know you're a spiritual person. So what do you think God wants for you?
Chilli: What I tell people I want. What people don't understand is...this is all new for people who are just finding out about me...but I've been like this for years! And I have asked God through the years, just "Show me what it is you want for me." And He definitely has shown me what I don't need. So that list is a lot of it. I'm not talking about the physical part.
I'm talking about the parts on the inside...The part about someone being loving, really being a lot like me. The good qualities that God put in me. That's what I want in return. So that's what a lot of people don't understand. I've already prayed on that a long time ago!
I'm not the type of woman...I mean yes, I do want the right person for me. I'm just not desperate. I'm not like "God will you Puh-lease send me..." It aint' like that. I'm just like "God send the man that you want me to be with." But I know the type of man that He wants me to be with, that's why I put those things out there like that. I understand what type of man He wants me to have, because I understand how He made me as a woman.
Me: Exactly, I think a lot of times people get lost in the dating world. And they solely look for what they want in a mate, without even considering the relationship. What do you want in a relationship?
Chilli: I think that when you get the right mate, you get the right relationship. Because the relationship is a result of the mate that you get with. So if you get with the wrong mate, the relationship that is good for you, you're not going to have that. You may have bits and pieces, but those are the things that keep people hanging on for so many years. But you have to get with the right person first. And then the relationship is able to blossom. And it allows you to blossom into better people. Because that is the purpose of having a mate. To make each other better. Y'all should make each other better. The next part of this interview goes into one of the main reasons why Chilli wanted to do this show. It explains a message she wants women to get beyond her search for a suitable mate.
Me: What would you like fans to know about why you did what you did (being on a reality show) and what you have coming in the future?
Chilli: I want people to understand that, when you think about relationships. My purpose for even doing my show...obviously yes, I'm open to love and I'm doing it in a very non-traditional way. This is not a normal way to meet people. But that's the era that we live in now. But at the same time, in being open to new things, you still have to continue to be true to yourself and keep values for yourself. I'm just hoping that that's what people will get when they watch my show.
Especially women. We have to always keep our standards and our values intact. That can also help you to eliminate the bullcrap that sometimes comes with dealing with guys. And also if more women would be that way and take that mindset, it would make men step their game up and come correct a little bit more.
Me: Yes! I am totally with you there!
Chilli: So hopefully that will happen.
Me: I REALLY hope so. That's why I'm happy you allowed me to do this interview, because that's what I try to do here on this blog. Let women see that you don't have to change and lower who you are to get a man. And what I do is try to let men speak to women and let them know what's really going on inside, and not try to assume a lot of things. Like a lot of women feel that, you know you have to do whatever because the next chick will. And for men...sometimes men have higher standards for women, than we have for ourselves.
Chilli: Well that's why a lot of guys will deal with a ton of chicks, it's almost like it's okay. The girls allow him to be that way. And he doesn't have to be anything different from that because he's allowed to. And by beautiful women. And I think that is so ridiculous, I truly do! It makes absolutely no sense! You definitely shouldn't lower your standards.
It's like going to the grocery store and buying the meat that they just put on sale. Now you know it's old, it's about to be rancid! You know what I'm saying? It's like "why is the steak on sale? I'm not buying steak that's on sale!" I'm not buying any meat that's on sale because the expiration date is like in two days. It's no good. It's like why? No..no..no...no..noo! You ALWAYS want the best for yourself, and you put the best in. And it helps you to continue being your best.
That concluded my interview with Chilli...She was mad cool, and we could have talked for hours on end, I'm sure! LOL So what's up next for Chilli and TLC as one of my Twitter followers asked:
- Chilli's bag and tote line: Bags by Chilli has a trunk show coming up in Atlanta in a couple of weeks. The business is primarily run by her sister.
- Chilli and T-Boz just returned from a tour in Japan.
- This year marks TLC's 20th anniversary and Chilli hopes to do some performances state-side to mark that tremendous milestone. She says that performing is what she adores the most.
TUNE INTO VH1 ON SUNDAYS TO CATCH WHAT CHILLI WANTS SEASON 2. 9 P.M./8 P.M.(central)
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