You look like you're already taken...
Ladies, have you hit a dry spell in the romance department? Do you wonder why guys don't approach you,
even though you're pretty darn attractive? You're well dressed, well groomed, you have all your teeth, and you comb your hair every day, and dangit, your breath is fresh!
Well..maybe you are just a bit TOO put together. Maybe you dress like you live in a convent... Maybe you have a stop sign up saying, DO NOT APPROACH ME, I AM SPOKEN FOR! Or one that says MAKE ONE FALSE MOVE, AND I'M GOING FOR MY MACE!
Or you look like you've let yourself go...therefore you're probably comfortably in a relationship. LOL
Say what?!
Well that's what some guys have said. They think some of you (well..us..I was included in this discussion...ha! I try to stay out of it...) look like you don't want someone asking you out or approaching.
Ok, you do not have to dress like a hoochie. (I mean please don't...that is so nasty). But wear a flirty dress or skirt sometime. And unbutton that top button that is choking your throat!
Get rid of the "stop thief" look
So my homeboy says we tend to look at men like they are about to rob us. Mainly because after years of being hit on by trifling specimens who will cuss us out if we say no, we began treating ALL men like the usual suspects. Try smiling sometimes and saying a polite hello.
Stop walking with your head down or diverting your attention
(I'm so guilty of this...I'm always on my phone texting as I walk down the block.) Make eye contact. If you look away or avoid a guy completely, he thinks you have some super control freak of a man at home who tells you "Eat the cake Anna Mae" everyday.
Chill out
Ok, so you're a super woman. You have it all together. You're screaming I don't need or want you. Relax! Don't be so serious. Flirt a little. Bat some eyelashes. Do something beyond looking like you have a steel rod in your back.
So those are some of the things that lead the already pensive guys to just stay away from you. I mean they fear rejection as it is. If you're not warm and inviting (and visually appealing), they will have a hard time approaching. At least...that's What He Said...
Comments
CM:
I do understand what you're saying. In a way it sounds like a catch 22: look too good and you're off limits, look torn up and *you're really* off limits! lol Honestly I think it's all about the vibe and confidence level. So many people say a man can *smell* desperation or vulnerability a mile away so whether you're looking pulled together or in sweats, if you're vibe is off then it's time to work on self and stop trying to *pull*!
It is about the vibe you put out. A warm, friendly, open vibe is what they are looking for so as to avoid all of the traps and walls they have to skirt around to even say hello to you.