Brotherly-Sisterly love
I always say that if you're lucky in life you get two families: The one you're born into and the one you get to choose.
I have been lucky enough to have both. My "born into family" helped mold me into the person I am. My "chosen family" helped me see the person I could be. My "born into family" poured love into me. My "chosen family" brought love out of me.
Both families were/are necessary for my life. I love both families. Some people do not understand the necessity of my chosen family, aka my friends. I mean there are people who go through life never having the types of friendships that I have. And it is sad to me. I don't worry about back biting or sabotage from my friends. For the most part, we all have an understanding.
Sure we get into it and we may butt heads about EVERYTHING...we may make mistakes that hurt each other, but forgiveness lies there. We have rules and regulations for our friendships, and we care enough to think about each other. The mess-ups with my friends (and I don't use that term lightly. I have friends and I have acquaintances...those two categories are very very far apart. I only have a few friends. VERY few) don't last long. We forgive and let live. We pretty much give each other the benefit of the doubt. If at any time that trust we have is irreparable, I can mourn the loss and walk away. Everyone has that understanding.
The funny thing is, through friends, I learned my capacity for love. I honestly never knew I could love anyone as much as I love my family. I mean shoot, we share DNA! :)
I'll use the example of the guy I call my little brother. (Since this blog is about my friendships with men after all). We met his freshman year in college. I was a sophomore. It was really a chance meeting, through my then roommate. Anyway, it was like we instantly clicked. I don't even know how we became friends. Seriously, as I think back, I just don't know how it happened. He was crazy! LOL Not really... But he was hilarious to me, and crazy to other folks.
Somehow, over the course of the three years we were in school together, he became family to me. I mean that ride or die, go to battle, nobody better not say nothin about him type of family. I mean I can say what I want, but nobody else bet' not say a word about him. (The same way I am with my little sister and and some of my other friends :) LOL)
I know many people did not understand our bond, heck I didn't either. I don't know how I came to love so dearly someone who was virtually a stranger to me only a few short years before. Everything within me always wanted to protect him (mostly from himself LOL LOL), and he always always always had my back. Much like I imagined a younger brother would. He was never more than a second or a phone call away. I could always depend on him. (Which reminds me of a time I actually jumped into the beginning of a fight to pull his big behind out! LOL... His teammates looked at me like I was crazy, and said "we got him". I wasn't taking any chances... So I dragged him away. LMBO...Ok so maybe I didn't physically drag him, though I tried, but eventually he came along with my tugging...) As I type this, I remember how much I wanted a younger brother when I was a kid. It probably came from watching Rudy Huxtable and Peter play so much on the Cosby show. LOL But all I know is I wanted one. haha!
It took 19 years for me to get one. But when I got him it was great! It is great. The road hasn't been easy. We've grown up, but never grew apart. Ever. And won't. That's why I don't quite get how people can fall out with their "born into family" to the point of no return. If I can unconditionally love a virtual stranger...I for darn sure can unconditionally love my family. Then again it may be harder because of the expectations. We expect everything to be a certain way with born into family...but not with chosen family.
Either way, to both of mine... I LOVE YOU. And you probably already know it :) LOL
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| Kenny aka Bud, Rudy, and Peter, The Cosby Show |
I always say that if you're lucky in life you get two families: The one you're born into and the one you get to choose.
I have been lucky enough to have both. My "born into family" helped mold me into the person I am. My "chosen family" helped me see the person I could be. My "born into family" poured love into me. My "chosen family" brought love out of me.
Both families were/are necessary for my life. I love both families. Some people do not understand the necessity of my chosen family, aka my friends. I mean there are people who go through life never having the types of friendships that I have. And it is sad to me. I don't worry about back biting or sabotage from my friends. For the most part, we all have an understanding.
Sure we get into it and we may butt heads about EVERYTHING...we may make mistakes that hurt each other, but forgiveness lies there. We have rules and regulations for our friendships, and we care enough to think about each other. The mess-ups with my friends (and I don't use that term lightly. I have friends and I have acquaintances...those two categories are very very far apart. I only have a few friends. VERY few) don't last long. We forgive and let live. We pretty much give each other the benefit of the doubt. If at any time that trust we have is irreparable, I can mourn the loss and walk away. Everyone has that understanding.
The funny thing is, through friends, I learned my capacity for love. I honestly never knew I could love anyone as much as I love my family. I mean shoot, we share DNA! :)
I'll use the example of the guy I call my little brother. (Since this blog is about my friendships with men after all). We met his freshman year in college. I was a sophomore. It was really a chance meeting, through my then roommate. Anyway, it was like we instantly clicked. I don't even know how we became friends. Seriously, as I think back, I just don't know how it happened. He was crazy! LOL Not really... But he was hilarious to me, and crazy to other folks.
Somehow, over the course of the three years we were in school together, he became family to me. I mean that ride or die, go to battle, nobody better not say nothin about him type of family. I mean I can say what I want, but nobody else bet' not say a word about him. (The same way I am with my little sister and and some of my other friends :) LOL)
I know many people did not understand our bond, heck I didn't either. I don't know how I came to love so dearly someone who was virtually a stranger to me only a few short years before. Everything within me always wanted to protect him (mostly from himself LOL LOL), and he always always always had my back. Much like I imagined a younger brother would. He was never more than a second or a phone call away. I could always depend on him. (Which reminds me of a time I actually jumped into the beginning of a fight to pull his big behind out! LOL... His teammates looked at me like I was crazy, and said "we got him". I wasn't taking any chances... So I dragged him away. LMBO...Ok so maybe I didn't physically drag him, though I tried, but eventually he came along with my tugging...) As I type this, I remember how much I wanted a younger brother when I was a kid. It probably came from watching Rudy Huxtable and Peter play so much on the Cosby show. LOL But all I know is I wanted one. haha!
It took 19 years for me to get one. But when I got him it was great! It is great. The road hasn't been easy. We've grown up, but never grew apart. Ever. And won't. That's why I don't quite get how people can fall out with their "born into family" to the point of no return. If I can unconditionally love a virtual stranger...I for darn sure can unconditionally love my family. Then again it may be harder because of the expectations. We expect everything to be a certain way with born into family...but not with chosen family.
Either way, to both of mine... I LOVE YOU. And you probably already know it :) LOL
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