Put it all on the table

Today my gal pal ran in the Susan G. Komen race for the cure.  Afterwards she, I, another pal, and three gents went for brunch.  What transpired at brunch was a conversation for the ages.

The guy in the video, L.M., I have known all my life.  Like literally.  Initially the conversation was about Mexico City considering renewable marriage licenses.  Basically once you're married, the contract can be reviewed and renewed in a set number of years. And you would not have to go through a divorce once the time period runs out.

L.M. thought it was a great idea.  We then got into a discussion about what happens when there are children involved.  There would be some different negotiations about having children and how many prior to the marriage.  He felt that having children, specifically a large number of children, was antiquated.  His premise was based on the fact that marriages and families were created based on an agrarian society, thus necessitating the constant birthing of children.  At least here in the US.  He contends that current society does not necessitate so many children coming into a relationship.

Anyway...what it eventually led to was a discussion about why marriages are so jacked up these days.  It all boiled down to people not being honest about who they were BEFORE they got into committed relationships. And also not being honest about who they wanted BEFORE they got into committed relationships.

What he said, and I totally agree with, is that we are all a sum of our past experiences and basic raising.  What I've heard called "conditioning".  If you acknowledge how you were conditioned in the past, acknowledge the person you've become and how it happened, and express that to the person you're dealing with, things would be easier.

But if you pretend that you never went through anything or that the person you are now was not influenced by your past experiences, you do yourself and the person you're dating a disservice.  Basically you build new relationships on a fantasy or falsehood, which is sure to crumble.  Your past, when not dealt with, is destined to come bite you in the bum!

You will definitely see more from L.M. on here.  He's a talker and hilarious with it!