Divorce rate would drop, if men could have two wives?
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| Would more than one wife solve the problems that lead to divorce? |
Dear CM:
I have a pretty "touchy" topic for you. A friend of mine and I have been having this debate on and off for awhile. He believes the "divorce remedy" is to allow men to have two wives...not multiple just two. He believes more men would be inclined to marry if that were the case. I was going to poll my fb friends, but I thought it was more fitting coming from an "expert"..lolol...what do you think?
So I told the lady I would ask you guys what you thought about it.
From the fellas:
W.F.: What cheating man only want two women?
F.M.: It {divorce} would double... Lmbo!
J.C.: Hell Naw!! thats 2x the problems. Women actually file for hte divorce 2/3 of the time. A way to drop the divorce rates would be to change the divorce laws. Obviously they vary from state to state: (1) do away with alimony & palimony (2) No automatic full custody of children, it should BE automatic "joint custody" 50/50 time. (3) Every state-- division of assets should be those accumulated POST MARRIAGE.
A.G.: It'd {divorce} prolly double
N.M.: Double the trouble. They don't want the One wife they have. Why in God's name would u wanna multiply it?
L.S.: Answer: Absolutely NOT! Rationale: Obviously, divorces occur for a multitude a reasons. But at the end of the day; any issue that might be the catalyst for divorce in one marriage, can possible be the catalyst for divorce in two marriages. The only way the two "wife" scenario has any "calming effect" on divorce is if there is in fact one wife and one mistress (but there's a whole other psychology behind that). The bottom line is you have to select a mate you can grow, communicate and endure along side. If a man, "wrongfully/incompatibly" marries one mate, then goes on to "wrongfully/incompatibly" marry a second mate, how does this ameliorate the desire for a divorce? You just multiplied the problem by two...
From the ladies:
M.G.H.: I don't think so. If someone is inclined to cheat, what they have will never be enough.
To wit, N.M. from above had this to say: "Cheating has nothing to do with wives."
L.P.: I think he's stupid!!!! And he probably supports swinging.
And an exchange I had with a gentleman from Twitter:
C.D.: I was just talking about that too!!! Takes the work load off of one woman....and breaks up the monotony in the bedroom!!!
Me: Interesting. What workload exactly?
C.D.: Running around with the kids, homework, cooking, cleaning, balancing the household....you know.
Me: So what does the husband do while the wife does all of that?
C.D.: His everyday routine....work, taking care of home, pleasing his wives, etc etc.....lol
Me: so the wife doesn't have a job outside of the home? And the husband doesn't chase the kids, etc. in your scenario?
C.D.: Of course THEY do...lol And why does the husband have to chase em, if there are two wives in the home? He still the enforcer though.
Me: No i meant without two wives. With the one wife. I'm trying to understand the dynamics of the situation that calls for 2 wives.
C.D.: ohhhh.....yeah he chases the kids with one....goes thru the normal routine and all. But two wives eliminates the stress on all!
Me: Why not just get a maid or babysitter?
I didn't get an answer to my final question. LOL. Hopefully he will answer it in the comments to this blog.
My take on it? Man that's some straight up B.S. Two wives? Will you have enough money to support two families? Because if your arse gets to have two wives...do the wives get to have two husbands to make up for where you're lacking? Because trust and believe you are lacking SOMEWHERE. They did not just create DNA paternity tests for the heck of it. Men may have always had side-pieces, but some of y'all grandpas weren't your grandpas and some of your grandmas had maintenance men. The fallacy in the argument the gentleman gives is that a singular woman is not enough to satisfy a man or keep a household together. The truth is often men marry their mothers, and sleep with their fantasies (men who go outside the home...) then get mad when their wives act accordingly. If people do as L.S. suggested, marriages would last much longer and be less stressful. Marry your mate who meets your desires and needs to an extent that at least satisfies you. Or heck, don't get married. As to C.D.'s suggestion...my thing is this... If a man were keeping up his end of the household and running around after kids like he should, and a woman the same, they wouldn't be too tired to please each other in other areas of the marriage. But if the woman carries the heavy burden of being Mrs. Everything, she can't be your little play thing when you're all energized and ret' ta go! Think!!! SMH
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