I love my Mr. Wrong
I don't know if this is common place, but I will imagine that it is. There is that one (hopefully just one), ain't no good for you, can't cause you nothing but heartache and pain, make you cry in your ice cream person out there.
I remember going on a roller coaster ride with my own Mr. Wrong. The funny thing is, I was also his Mrs. Wrong. We got along better than most people...but we could not be together. It was just all wrong...all bad...all the time.
I met him my freshman year of college and we were back and forth through college and through my time in law school. He and I both dated a lot and went to different schools. But we were drawn back to each other for years. He didn't trust me, and I couldn't trust him.
He was not the good "churchboy" who spent nights in bible study and weekends feeding the poor. He was an athletic, frat boy, with a loud mouth and country upbringing who introduced me to the comedic stylings of Robin Harris and his love for down home cooking. (Well...eating on his part...because he expected me to cook...and fix his plate?? LOL)
Everything about our situation was like a post teen soap opera. But we never really fought. We just pulled and pushed each other away, repeatedly. I wanted to be with him, but didn't want to commit. I needed patience, he needed stability. It did not work.
I tried several times to go for a Mr. Right...but each time, I got pulled back. It is a jacked up way of being. Because of my attachment (addiction maybe???) to this Mr. Wrong I found it so easy to leave other situations without any thought or concern.
When either of us would get into stable relationships, the other would let it be known that we would rekindle.
I loved him, no doubt. But everything he needed, I could not be. And everything he wanted, I refused to be. The same was true for him. All that I needed, he was unable to give. Everything I wanted, he withheld.
Did he love me? Yes. He loved me. He said so, and showed it...but he couldn't LOVE me...not the way I needed, because at that time I didn't know what it meant to love or be loved. Bad timing...
We were both young, scared, and confused. Which led to drama. We finally parted...for good. It hurt like crazy.
Lawd it took some prayer and meditation, fasting and supplication to get him out of my heart, mind and spirit!
As bad and good and confusing that time was... I don't regret it. Those were the deepest emotions I had ever felt. And those years led me to a great place.
Did you ever have a Mr. Wrong or a Mrs. Wrong that took you to an emotional amusement park and wouldn't let you get off the rides?
