YBBG: How to date like a dude

What happens when you date like a dute? One thing is
you never have to worry about when the guy is going to call...
So my post the other day, "You date like a dude", was about the differences in how men and women date.  The answers came from various guys and gals.

Many folks in that post said that women tend to put every egg into one basket by dating one man instead of multiple.  The one I agreed with most came from a guy who said that men go into dating with the potential for it to be upgraded to relationship vs going into it seeking a relationship off-gate.

Anyway this all sprung forth from my friend Noa saying I date like a dude.  This is not necessarily a good thing.

(This is not based on how all men date...just well...dudes lol) So how does one date like a dude:



1.  Don't be relationship minded.

  • Your pure focus must be on you.  How you feel. What you want to do. How a person can accommodate you. 
2.  Multitask
  • If you focus on one person at a time, you may catch feelings.  Avoid this at all costs.  Have several hobbies, interests, get rich quick schemes, and by all means SEVERAL "potentials". 
3. Only date people with whom you don't want to commit
  • Again, the purpose here is to have fun/be entertained, not to get locked down.  When you make sure the people you juggle are not who you really want to commit to, you will be more successful at it. 
4.  Commit only when you want to commit
  • When the pressure gets put on you to settle down...make a mad dash for the exit.  No hard feelings.  Just gotta get up out of there before things get too serious. 
5. No outgoing calls
  • Only answer your phone and maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe make an occasional call back. Keep conversations brief.  Know how to answer phone calls with a text message. 
6.  Don't answer to anyone
  • You're not committed to anyone, therefore you do not have to answer any questions about your whereabouts, daily activities, or even what time of day it is. 
7.  Keep them unstable
  • Just because you don't want a relationship, doesn't mean you are finished with the company of the person.  So show them all of your good qualities as well as the bad... (bad only when you don't want to be bothered...)
8.  Tell the truth
  • You have ZERO reason to lie, it isn't like you actually care that the person knows the truth or not. So spill your guts. Let the potentials know that they all exist.  Also let them all know what a great catch you are and that ONE DAY you will want to settle down. 
9.  Control the situation
  • None of the potentials should have access to you at their convenience.  It is best that they understand how busy you are.  That they do not have access to you on social media sites...through knowing where you live...or through relationships with your friends. 
10.  Know how to say goodbye without burning bridges...unless you have to
  • Maneuver out of relationships with finesse, so that the potentials still think you are a great catch...just not right for them.  But if you really want to never in your life see the person again. FLAME-ON!  Pour the gasoline...get a flame thrower and blast that bridge to smithereens.  Who cares...you're moving on.

And no...I didn't just make this stuff up.  This is how I operated for a long time when I did not want a commitment/relationship.  There were mishaps here and there where I got caught up.  And one time when I wanted commitment that I fell in love.   

No...I didn't do this to "get back at" anyone for doing me wrong. LOL.  It was more conditioning.  This was the norm for me because of rule number 1.  I was nowhere near ready for, or wanting, a commitment when I dated like a dude.  And if the guy had a problem with it...it was his problem.   Needless to say it left a number of men hurt and confused by the situation.  Which is partly what led me to stop behaving this way. 

What do you learn from this? If you want to be serious with someone...make sure that the person wants the same thing. If not...steady yourself and jump in for a rocky, nightmarish ride...or K.I.M. (keep it movin').   

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