I will change for you
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| What used to catch my attention |
Who I was, what I liked, what I did and did not do was non-negotiable. Take it or leave it. It was my world and I was the central focus of it. Get in where you fit in or K.I.M. (Keep it movin')
Basically I was one self-centered, arrogant, egocentric, narcissistic, hurt individual. Now, don't get me wrong, I still have standards when it comes to what I expect from a gentleman. But I have changed. DRASTICALLY! And the person I've changed for is well...ME.
For me, with the healing of my past hurts came humility. I realized that I put guys through so many changes not because they couldn't add up to my requirements, but because I felt like I did not add up to theirs.
Everything is different now. Instead of tasking a guy to prove himself to me, and prove how much he desires me and only me, I look at guys to see how we fit together. How we could add to each other's lives. How we could make each other better.
It's funny in a way. I never thought of sustained relationships before. Like...EVER. Now that I do, my whole dating process is changing. Whereas the central focus of my dating was once fun and entertainment, now it is partnership and life building.
No...my biological clock is not ticking. That's something people automatically assume. Trust me if it existed, I could find anyone to fill that void. But that's not what it is. However, I do look at guys and think "would he be a good influence on children? Could I manage a business with him? How does he resolve conflict?" That's a far cry from "he has abs and looks good in basketball shorts."
I've also realized there are some things I need to change about myself to be more of what works in a relationship.
I guess that means I've grown up?
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