Judgy Smurf

Brainy Smurf as a judge.

Judgy Smurf or Judge E. Smurf LOL.  My very dear friend, Noa, calls me that all the time. Why? Because I have something to say about EVERYTHING...not everybody...but EVERYTHING.

If you ask me about it, I probably have a stance on it. At the same time, I tend to separate people from their decisions. People tend to make decisions based on a myriad of internal and external influences, so I understand. 

I remember a while back, I was part of a panel on dating. The subject was dating pro athletes (I seriously don't know why people make that the holy grail of dating...a mess! LOL). A participant in the panel called me judgmental because I questioned her actions in going after guys who played in the NFL. 

Honestly, I did not care that she dated pro ballers, I had gone out with a couple before myself. My whole purpose was to show that people have different motives, and everyone claiming to be a victim may not be. I am very big on not demonizing people. I hate it. (I guess that's my soft side...Lord help me... Now...this does not include demonizing people who act like demons... e.g., Jerry Sandusky.) 

Besides, I have made some jacked up decisions repeatedly. I've taken chances that did not pan out, associated myself with people and situations that were not good for me, and done stupid things that were fun at the time, but still stupid. So I try not to label PEOPLE, but I will label ACTIONS.

So...I understand. The thing that irks Noa about my stances on certain things is that he considers me to be conservative to the extreme. He says that when I stop being broke and actually make some money I'll become a Republican. LMBO (Never in life... I'm a registered Independent, and that I shall stay.)

On the flip side, Noa also, in a funny way, digs the notion that I'm not "preachy". My attitude is probably more flippant... "do you...but don't get mad about the consequences of doing you." Quite frankly, I don't care that much about how people choose to live their lives. I'm just not too sympathetic. (Noa and I had a back and forth about Lolo Jones and celibacy vs. being loose. LMBO...but I will save that convo for another day.)

Besides, who am I to say what you should do with your life? Nobody. I don't have to deal with your consequences, nor you mine. But if you ask me what I think about it...be prepared for me telling you the truth about how I feel. Otherwise, don't ask. You might get your feelings hurt. 

I hurt feelings, piss people off, make folks want to call me names and talk about my mama. Is it right that I do that? Who knows? It isn't sweet...that's for sure. But it is my decision to do it. Do I aim to hurt folks? Heck no. But I am not one to coddle. I make people uncomfortable a lot of times. And yes, I do it on purpose.

You may be surprised to know that I actually love people, genuinely. I care, sometimes too deeply, about how people are progressing in life. The same way I may argue and fight you about certain things, I will also defend you and fight for you. One of my besties said that to the young lady from the panel. It is very true. When someone called her a groupie and a gold digger (before I ever met her), I actually defended her to the people. 

You know, as I type this, I realize I am a living breathing conundrum. While I don't care what people do, I care deeply how people are. So, in a way, I am concerned with how people's actions will affect them and others around them. Does that make sense? 

Anyway, I love the little Judgy Smurf nickname. If someone can find the little figurine let me know! I would love to have it.