YBBG Topic: Breaking up with a good person

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I know y'all have heard that way back when song "Breaking up is hard to do".  I remember having to sing it in 8th grade chorus...but surely I digress.

Anywho....after yesterday's #17 What He Said, I began pondering the dilemma that M.A. was in.  So he's dating a good woman, but they have nothing in common.  He's bored with the relationship and ready to go.  He just doesn't know how to get out of the relationship without hurting her.

So that prompted my hot topic for today.  How do you break up with a good person, without hurting him/her?

Well this is what you all had to say about this situation:

My question is...why would you even want to break up?- D

That must be a trick question.  Answer: not possible.  Not only will they get hurt, depending upon how secure they are in themselves, their self-esteem may take a major blow, also for some it could create an "F it" attitude.  They may feel like 'I didn't do anything wrong, tried to make them happy, etc., ain't no pleasing people.  I'd just rather be single.' And shut down.-C.G.

Why would you want to? I don't think you can without that individual being hurt. -S.P.

Not possible...i've never seen a "break-up" where the 'broken' one isn't hurt at least a lil bit...inevitable. -E.A.

There really isn't a way to do it. Sometimes honesty is the best way. No matter how the band aid removed it still hurts. D.J.

Nobody ever does everything right, but you just have to tell them the truth.  You aren't interested anymore.-S.S.

Wow...That's a hard one.  No easy way for that.  I did that before, in a bady way w/worst results.  Lesson, I learned.  Over the phone is never a good method.-V.S.

I guess to answer the one recurring question, "Why would you want to?" I'll say this:  Just because someone is a good person, does not mean you are destined to be with him or her.  Nor that the relationship is right for either of you. 

I think people have a misconception that all you need is a "good" person to have a good relationship.  Not true AT ALL! The person's character is extremely important, true.  However, their efforts and your commonalities are also important. 

If you are missing either of the three, you may have a rocky relationship.  Just as you can't rest on your pretty, you can't rest on your goody-goody either.  People are different and want different things.

As far as breaking up with someone because they are boring...I think that is a little silly...but I get it. I think the first step should be to have the talk with the person.  Let him/her know you need a little more spice.