Obedient Wives Club

How does faith affect intimacy?

Malaysia's Obedient Wives Club. Read about them here. 

(Be aware, I'm going to get religious in this post...) I know the guys were thrilled to read the title of this post! LOL.  Well the Obedient Wives Club is a group of Muslim women who wish to adhere to their reading of the Qur'an, thus giving themselves over fully and completely to their husbands.  Some view it as a step backwards.  I'm not Muslim so I cannot speak on their premises or belief system.  I cannot agree or disagree.  If that is their belief system, who am I to deny it? I say go for it.


However, a number of self-identified Christian men were thrilled by one particular statement made by the group as alluded to by NPR:

The group appears to have toned down its rhetoric since last year, when media quoted members as saying that wives should satisfy the sexual desires of their husbands like prostitutes.

But a prostitute though??? Ummm...ok. How exactly does one learn the behaviors of a streetwalker without streetwalker experience?  (One gent said her husband can teach her...so does that mean that he's been getting it crackin' with streetwalkers???).  Another gent brought up the Bible...he later said that women should not want to be equal and should know that their wombs are more valuable than men's seed.  I disagree.  They are equally valuable.

Granted 1 Corinthians 7: 1-9 speaks about how a husband and wife are to satiate each other's needs.  A wife's body is not her own, and a husband's not his own. Physical intimacy is essential for a sustained marriage, no doubt.

But what happened in this particular conversation was the way some of the men folks salivated at the notion. And in the same tone condemned women who actually do behave like prostitutes LOL.  I'm like good gracious...calm down. LOL.

Also present was the double message given to women.  You are not to be promiscuous, but men can.  You should accept a promiscuous man because it is natural for him to be so...but you should be chaste until the wedding night...then become as nasty as a two dollar hooker. Some guys said that women are willing to do much more for a jerk they are not married to than for men they do marry.  Then others went on to call women not so nice names.  LOL

How do you bring back the joy
of intimacy into your marriage?

Okay here is the issue... Men...your being promiscuous is only acceptable in a society devoid of morals and values.  You cannot use the moral high road against women when you are dipping in the gully.  Let's be real about this thing.

The same issues that come from a woman being "loose" are present with men who randomly get it on.  Think not? Please.  If you read my article "Should I marry a player", I speak to this guy who went down that path and found himself battling the "beast".  The difference with men and women is...men are taught to bury their emotions, women are allowed to express them.  Of course most people rationalize it and find justifications for it.  Understandable. That's human nature.

However, to think that women do not have the same desires physically that men have is a bit ridiculous.  The only thing is, society has presented strictures for how that plays out.  That explains why women, even after marriage, continue to hold back in the realm of being intimately available to their spouses.

Intimacy has been turned into a commodity and basically sullied.  When it was not meant to be from the beginning. So yes, your tramping has dirtied the whole intention behind that physical connection... Think about that when you're sleeping on the couch.  LOL

In the same conversation, one guy told me I should stop trying to be equal to men.  I told him it isn't something that I was "trying" to do.  I was born equal to men.  Eve was made comparable to Adam...not his subordinate.  This particular guy and another continuously state that women's lib killed chivalry and that women want to be men nowadays.

Thing is, I am a woman...a proud one at that, and not even a feminist.  I'm actually quite traditional which may surprise people...LOL.  I don't compete with anyone, but myself.

What does the good book say about intimacy?

Women's liberation happened long before I was born...as did the Civil Rights movement.  I didn't need either movement to tell me what I already knew.  I was born equal to any person regardless of race or gender. Those movements were so that others, who wished it weren't true, would finally accept it for themselves.

To go even deeper (religiously speaking).  When God created Adam then Eve, he did not give Adam dominion over Eve. He gave Adam dominion over the land, the animals and the fowls of the air.  What happened afterwards in the garden of Eden caused the original battle of the sexes.  LOL.

However, Christ's birth, death, and resurrection came to cleanse us all of our sins, including the "original sin".  This posting gives a phenomenal breakdown.  I usually don't read these interpretations...but as I looked for the particular verse about man's curse and woman's curse, I happened upon it, and actually agreed wholly with it. 

Quiet as kept. I don't battle with men, in that nature. I don't have to...I'm not trying to prove myself. If you haven't noticed yet, I love men.  LOL

Quite seriously the only issue I had with the topic was the way the men attempted to force this ill conceived double standard on the women in the discussion. Men are to be whores until they find a nun.  Women are to be nuns until they find a husband and can become a whore.  Even the guy who tried to lift the value of women in his assertion that the womb is more sacred and valuable, did nothing but create an excuse for men by saying their seed is nothing in comparison.  By virtue of that ideal, men can just waste their seed anywhere because it isn't worth much. Oh contraire!

If it is unacceptable for one...it is also unacceptable for the other.  In the same vain that women should work to have healthy physical relationships with their husbands, men should as well.  That means not spreading your seed here and yonder.  It causes confusion, hurt, heartache and pain.

It is why you have a woman who will overlook a man who treats her well for a man who sexes her well.  Also why you have a man who will leave a family to have a tryst with a woman he didn't think enough of to marry.  Quite backwards, don't you think?  Oh...you don't think so? Oh....ok...

If we would all value ourselves more, the intimacy between husband and wife would not be a battle anymore.  You would get back to being fruitful and multiplying.  Women would have less "headaches" and men would have less straying eyes.  Paternity tests would become obsolete and STDs would plummet.