Selfish single parents
Or are you one of those people who scream, "accept me, accept my kid(s)," without considering the impact on the other person?
Some people take the stance that everyone deserves to have someone in their lives romantically. Meh... I don't take that stance. You are either granted "good things" through grace and mercy or hard work, in my opinion.
So when I hear people come down on childless people who choose not to date single parents, I have to give them the side eye.
No, your child is not a "con", but you being a parent definitely is a "con" when it comes to dating.
CON: You may be irresponsible
Think about it this way. A person who has no children has apparently taken some precautions to not have children. If that means abstaining from premarital sex, or using protection EVERY TIME, then they have been responsible to some level.
(Sure that is not always the case...there are exceptions to every rule...but let's just take this premise as true.)
Being an unwed (not divorced) single parent, means you have, at some point, been irresponsible enough to allow someone who you wouldn't marry or who wouldn't marry you, to expose you to themselves without protection. And all too often, y'all can't stand each other...so what does that say about your responsible actions in choosing a proper mate? Not much!
CON: The package deal
You may think little Jon Jon is the most precious, adorable, intelligent baby to ever sport a bib. That doesn't mean the next person does. Then, don't forget that Jon Jon's other parent is part of the mix as well.
The childless person is not only dating you with the potential of a relationship, but they are possibly committing themselves to a love quadrangle. You don't have to share them with anyone. They have to share you with everyone. Is that fair? HECK NO!
Now the poor sap has to get to know you, your kid(s) and your lousy babymama/daddy. Fantastic right? Umm...no!
CON: Taking the backseat
If the childless person makes plans, and little Jon Jon gets a cold...plans out the window. If the childless person wants to spend quality time, it depends on little Jon Jon's babysitting situation. If the childless person wants to consider starting a family, little Jon Jon has to be considered.
So everything, when dating a single parent, is about the best interest of the single parent's child. Meaning once again, the poor sap, has to take on all the backlash of being the dope on the outside looking in. No spontaneity, no freedom, no being put first. IT SUCKS!
CON: Unintended sacrifices
See taking the backseat. When dealing with a single parent, the childless person has to sacrifice a lot, for a decision that the single parent made before the person arrived on the scene.
You get into the relationship, and now the single parent wants you to watch little Jon Jon. Show up at the school for little Jon Jon's play. Wipe noses, clean up spills, help with homework. Stuff you had no intention on doing so soon.
Then losing some of the joy of starting a family. Heck, the single parent has already been there and done that. So the thrill of "going through this together" is shot all to Hades!!!!
CONclusion
I'm not anti dating single parents. But I am anti-single parents believing that they don't come with some negatives. Good gracious, y'all ask for a lot out of people, and EXPECT them to just have to "deal" with it. Do you ever consider their feelings? Or that just by virtue of caring about you, they have to take, accept, digest, deal with, and show no emotions about what they are being put through?
It is a very selfish attitude to have. Stop for a moment to think about it. Have some humility about yourself. Trust, if it came down to choosing a person who has all your good qualities, and none of your bad...then you may not get chosen...and if you are chosen, you should show at least a modicum of appreciation for what the other person has to go through.
And then the ones of you who don't want to date other parents yourself, REALLY?! GTHOH!!! So someone has to put up with your little raggamuffins, but you're not willing to make the same sacrifice? You all really kill me! LOL
I'm not trying to come down on single parents, heck my mom had me before she and my dad married. Had they not married, I would have wanted someone to love and appreciate her and me too. So don't get it twisted. I have also dated single dads in the past. Beyond that I absolutely love children. But trust me, dating a single parent is a heckuva lot different than dating someone who is not a parent. I just want you single parents to have some consideration for the childless folks.
Are you a single parent? What's your take on dealing with childless people? Are you childless? How do you view dating single parents?
