Penny pinching vs gold digging
| If a lady cares a lot about your balance sheets, would you cash out or cash in on an opportunity to date her? |
On Monday night, I facilitated another discussion about relationships. This time, the key focus was men and their money.
I asked the crowd an age old question:
WHO PAYS FOR DATES?
One might think this was an easy enough question, with simple answers. But that would be too much like right.
Somehow this simple question turned into a test of wills. Discussions of McDonald's versus five star treatment.
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| If a man doesn't want to come out of his pockets, will you keep it moving or give him a chance? |
And a man better make for darn sure, that the date is worth it and paid for in full by him, or there will be no second chances.
A gentleman said he gave women the "are you worth it" test. He and his wife both attended the event. The husband said when he was dating, he would go out with a woman and just leave the check laying on the table to see if his lady friend would at least reach for it.
There were discussions about the intimidation factors when dealing with people who were successful financially, with one gentleman intimating that his success is not superficial, but part of who he is as a person. His successful brand is part of his character. This was after a lady asked why guys she's gone out with tend to brag about how well off they are.
And for those of us (yes, I said "us") who aren't driving luxury vehicles or living in mcmansions, the question was: Would you date someone who was between jobs?
One attendee said that it depends on how long the person was out of work, how long she had been with him, and whether or not the person was focused on doing better financially. She basically said the person should focus on his financial future vs dating: PRIORITIES!
From the guys' perspective they did not want to be a "free meal" and basically get used for a woman's desire to be fed or wined and dined. For the ladies, they wanted the quality of the date to match the qualities they carried personally.
Too often folks focus more on the date than the dater. You cut people off because they took you to McDonalds instead of Morton's. You play games about who will pay the check and cover the tip. Politics have no place in relationships. LOL. You could spend a lot more time focusing on who you're with versus who asked who and how you will split the tab or not...
