Dating Tip of the Day from YBBG

I post these dating tips semi-regularly...

There are a lot of so called relationship coaches, experts, and gurus out there. I do not count myself as one of them. As I always state, I am a conversation facilitator. LOL

I want people to talk. When you talk, you understand each other better. So I post these #DatingTipOfTheDay messages on instagram and Twitter. As I have become more mature (read OLDER), I realize the mistakes and good decisions I made when it came to dating. 

Sometimes I travel down memory lane and have a good chuckle at the many many many many dates I have gone on, whether first dates or in relationship dates, they were all interesting and memorable. Even the ones where I had no interest in the guy. Yes, I was one of those "Free meal" daters back when I was in college.

My roommate and I would actually laugh about these "free meals". It would go down like this:

Out on a Saturday night. A guy approaches and spits game. He's not my type. I'm not hearing him, but he's persistent. Eventually I relent. Who knows, he may be interesting. I have given out a fake number so many times to so many other guys, this time I just give him the real one. 

He calls and insists on taking me out. Through conversations, I realize he isn't that interesting after all and he just wants to take me out. Whatever. I don't really want to go out with him. I talk it over with my roommate. 

She says, "Girl shoot... Go! It's a free meal." And we both roll over laughing. 

Now, the question is...were those "free meal" dates a mistake? Or a good decision? That's the funny thing about life, there are no black or white answers. I never went on "free meal" dates with nice guys. You know the genuine ones who were actually about something. But I did go on them with guys who were either trying to show off by going out with me or thought they were going to get something in return for paying for a meal. Nah, bruh! 

When it came down to it, it was a question of who is actually using who? In the end, my take on it is don't take a person out on a date who is completely uninterested in you. And don't go out on a date with someone you're completely uninterested in. Y'all can be the best of friends...but a free meal is never that free. 

I've met guys, who as grown men, have a sincere fear of going out with women who only want a free meal. I thought people stopped doing that as youngins in college...when dating is nothing more than a game for many and entertainment for many others. Then I realize, even back then I was not the most pretty or most popular, but I still did it....I guess being the most mature doesn't stop people from doing it either.

I understand their issues with it now. I never even thought about it back then...not too much anyway. But even in this scenario...I still ask "who is the bad guy?" Were you taking this woman out because you had genuine interest, or were you feeding your ego or trying to feed your loins? LOL

So in a nutshell I do these dating tips to show different perspectives. One day I might say something about being aware of women who don't want you but what you have to offer. The next day it might be something about paying attention to the truth a man tells versus a lie he sells. Most days the tips are positives about being honest and opening your heart, etc. 

I try to take a balanced approach...giving the guy's side and the lady's side an opportunity to be heard. As a gal with guy friends, I often find myself translating for men and women! LOL

I'm not a dating expert...I've just been on a lot of dates.