Ten reasons you're in the Friend Zone

Ten reasons you're in the friend zone.

A recurring question I've heard posed is: "Why do I keep ending up in the friend zone?"

Wanna hear it...here it goes:  Ten reasons you're in the friend zone. 

1. The object of your desire is not attracted to you. 

Let's just face it...not everyone will want you. Most times you cannot do anything about it. However, if you know within your soul of souls, that you could take more care in your personal appearance or peronality, then do so.  No, it does not (automatically) make a person superficial if they are not attracted to you.  Attraction is a key factor in romance.  

2. You never let your desires be known.

A closed mouth does not get fed.  You cannot expect a person to read your mind. If your "friend" doesn't know you want more, then he/she cannot give more.  Put it on the table and see what happens.

3. You gave too much too soon.

There's a process to this thing. I know you're a good person, but you can give a person too much of yourself too soon.  It can be overwhelming and a turn off.  If you jump up and offer zero challenge to a person, you won't spark that base desire within them.  If it is extremely easy to have something, people tend to shy away from it. Most people live by the "If anything is worth having it is worth working for..." mantra...so they have to do some work to think it is worth having. 

 4. You voluntarily entered that position. 

You listened to every cry and pity party moment about how the last person did your friend wrong. You became the "homeboy/girl", doing things their friends of the same sex do with them.  You chose to be the shoulder to lean on, knowing you wanted to be the lips to kiss. You walked right into it on stealth mode hoping it would turn into something else. Uh...no. You set yourself up.

5. You act more like a friend than a lover.

See #4.  There's a certain presence a person has when they want you "in that way".  They make efforts to pique your interest. They put on a certain marketing campaign. You have to understand the difference between marketing yourself as a friend and marketing yourself as a potential mate.  It is easier for a potential mate to become a friend, than for a friend to become a potential mate. Sad, but true.

6. The other person is afraid of "taking it there".

It is sometimes a risk to go from being friends to being "lovers". A person could value the friendship so much that he/she fears taking even the slightest risk at being more.  A good friendship is a joy to have.  The ups and downs of relationships scares some people to the point that they won't take the plunge at all. The "friend" will have to work through the fear to change this.

7. You're better off as friends.

Some people are just meant to be friends and nothing more.  People sometimes act differently within the realms of friendships than they do in relationships.  Do you really want to deal with the expectations, complaints, duties and responsibilities? I mean you have seen how they act in relationships...sometimes it really is not worth it.  A good friend is not always a good mate. 

8. You don't know how to compete.

I know, I know...you're wonderful, dope, out of this world amazing...but you don't know how to use your great qualities to your advantage and someone else does.  Not everyone is sitting around waiting on a potential mate to show up, some have them popping up left and right.  What are you doing to stand out and be noticed? Nothing, because you either think you don't have to or you don't know how to. Oh...but...you...do!

9. You have a bad track record as a mate.

Let's just face it...you treat your mates like trash and your friends like treasures.  You lie, you cheat, you abuse, and your friend sticks by you through it all, but does not want to sign up for your foolishness. 

10. You lack confidence. 

You have to really believe in yourself. If you don't, no one will.  A person who lacks confidence usually does not get what he or she wants.  Work on your esteem and your confidence.

Those are ten reasons you're in the friend zone. Do you have any others?