Skip to main content

Tip Jar

Cris Carter mentors Brandon Marshall

NFL great Cris Carter has taken Brandon Marshall under his wing. Marshall has had a lot of trouble in the past, but things seem to be looking up. This morning on ESPN, Marshall sat by Carter as they discussed an article Marshall penned about sports depression.


(Photo: AP/Jim Prisching)
Marshall also discussed the outcome of a case where he was accused of punching a woman in the face at a club. Marshall was at the spot with his wife, when a fight broke out. Apparently, his wife was hit in the head with a beer bottle. A while ago Marshall's wife was arrested for stabbing him.

Marshall was cleared of any wrongdoing. On ESPN, Marshall spoke of the need for therapy and having good people around you in order to make good decisions. In the Chicago Sun-times article he penned after Junior Seau's suicide, Marshall wrote of having the tragedy become a teachable moment.

Marshall writes about the way boys are taught to deal with emotions, and how it later impacts them as men. (I've written about this in several blog posts, and I'm writing about it in my next book.) From the article:

The cycle starts when we are young boys and girls. Let me illustrate it for you:
Li’l Johnny is outside playing and falls. His dad tells him to get up and be strong, to stop crying because men don’t cry. So even from the age of 2, our belief system begins to form this picture. We are teaching our boys not to show weakness or share any feelings or emotions, other than to be strong and tough.
Is that ‘‘validating’’?
What do we do when Li’l Susie falls? We say: ‘‘It’s OK. I’m here. Let me pick you up.’’
That’s very validating, and it’s teaching our girls that expressing emotions is OK.
We wonder why it’s so hard to bridge the communication gap between men and women.
Those are the issues we rarely discuss. We don't talk about how men are hurting and in turmoil, because we want to keep the fantasy that men don't have emotions going. Then it is too late.  A man who has suffered for so long, who has nowhere to turn, turns within himself and becomes destructive.

Somewhere there must be balance.  Boys need to be nurtured and taught to deal with their feelings, and express their pains.  So it is a great thing that Marshall, who seemed to be on a downward spiral, looked up.  Cris Carter has stepped in the gap for him, like Tony Dungy did for Mike Vick.  There are other Marshalls out there who need more Cris Carters in their lives.

Photo from @burnstyler 




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Sense of Safety (Guest Post)

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Many young adult DV relationships begin during the teen years. When involved in a DV relationship, a person's safety is very often in peril. Nora Hood guest blogs for YBBG in this post.
A Sense of Safety: Protection or Survivors of Domestic Violence.
Approximately 20,000 calls are made to the National Census of Domestic Violence Services every day. It’s a fact of life for domestic violence survivors who live in fear that a former partner will show up without warning, seeking revenge. Unfortunately, the vast majority of victims haven’t prepared a plan of action, or had security or monitoring devices installed. Protection is a major concern in light of the fact that three women are killed by a partner every day. Providing for your safety and that of your children can seem an overwhelming objective for domestic violence victims who are just trying to get away from destructive relationships and get on with their lives. Many assume that…

Wanetta Gibson's video confession

Wanetta Gibson was a sophomore, when she met up with Brian Banks, a junior star linebacker, in a stairwell at Long Beach Polytechnic High. They stood in the stairwell making out, and then went their separate ways. That make out session led to an accusation of rape.

Watch the video to see Brian tell what happened to him after their make out session. Then you will see the undercover video of Wanetta, ten years later, saying a rape never occurred.



Wanetta Gibson reached out to Banks on Facebook, of all places, wanting to "let bygones be bygones".  He set up a meeting with her to be secretly recorded, confessing that a rape never happened.  She met him, but refused to go to court, and didn't even give him the courtesy of an apology.

We now know that Brian went to prison off of, what I consider, poor legal advice.  His attorney allegedly told him he would be perceived negatively because he was a big black guy, so he may as well plead no contest.  At 16, he asked if he could …

Guy Secrets: He treats his friends better than you

I know, the title of this blog post may have caused a screw face with some of you. However...many women often complain about how much time their men spends with friends.
There's a reason for that... If your man spends more time away from you and with his friends... It's because he likes them and feels obligated to you.
That may seem a little crazy, but someone really can love you, but not like you very much. If your relationship is more like a chore than a good time...trust me, your dude will always look for an escape. He will take on more hours at his real job, join an extra rec league, hand out with his boys more, etc.
There is a cure for that, though... If you and your boo have a genuine friendship...enjoy similar activities, can talk and joke with each other, really find joy in each other's personalities...he will actually want to spend time with you.
More than that, when a dude considers you a friend, he feels more free and less tied down. Honestly, dudes secretly de…